Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I Miss.....



My aunt Betty died last week and I went to the memorial service her son, my cousin David, had for her, at her house where she lived for 50+ years in Berkeley. She lived to 94, with a wonderful, loving caretaker, Maurra, and her son, David, my cousin,  and his wife, Tangela nearby. But I still miss her. My father died when I was 13 and Betty was his sister and the only relative other than her son (and his sons) on that side of the family. My grandmother who I never met had her husband leave her when she was very young, so my father, himself, grew up without a father. So Betty was my window into my father's life since I never really knew him from an adult perspective. And Betty had a great wit and loved words and had an opinion on almost everything, I think loving the New York Times could be genetic. Dying comes along with living and I think Steve Ilg at Wholistic Fitness  who I et spiritual inspiration from, puts it in perspective for me when he talks about the bardo as he sees it.  It is just sad to see things on this earth end. But as Coach Ilg/Steve is constantly reminding me on his blog, Direct Lines, each day we are constantly beginning again. With my Aunt's death, it got me to thinking of other things I miss, some of which I will see again, some I won't. I miss my old dog, Sophie, the German short hair pointer. The picture above, is of Sophie with an acute headache, actually not, it is of Sophie after being outside in the heat of summer and my nervousness that she might die of heat exposure. I miss seeing the clouds around mountains. I am kind of a cloud addict, they just fascinate me, and when I am in the mountains at a decent altitude clouds become so vivid and take on such cool textures, I just think clouds are cool. Finally, I love snow, I love ice but I really miss flowers, I LOVE FLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! In Berkeley this past weekend everyone has plants and flowers around their houses and the flowers attract all these happy warm weather birds and I miss the beauty of flowers and the happy chirp of warm weather birds which is different then the defiant sounds of cold weather birds.
I have been a complete slacker, hence the name of the blog, about running. It has just been too cold and grey and the life issues that have arisen from my aunt's death, though nothing to do with her directly, have been overwhelming at times, and my striving to work on the magazine, we are near deadline for the winter issue has taken my focus off of running. But I am getting back on track, and part of the reason for this blog, was to keep myself on track, so I am back to ashtanga yoga later today, and running before work tomorrow, because I really am so much happier a person when I get out and run. I go back and forth between thinking I was either a polar bear in another life because I love the cold but when it is hot I like to just wallow in the lake and sit in the sun and a mountain goat or lion because I love the feeling of freedom running in nature gives me, I just feel a lot more alive.
    Finally, I have my daily blog reads which include, Angry White Guy (AWG), Direct Lines, Salon, New York Times, Huffington Post Chicago, Prosperity Circle (not every day), I always click on the Animal Rescue Site, Digg (Just to see what random stuff is out there), Meghan's Blaaaah when she posts, My Inner World, Olga's when she posts, for running motivation, and Heidi's , Serious Eats and Smitten Kitchen (SK) for cooking motivation, with a host of others that I rotate through depending on how much time I have which fit into the general categories of food and motivational blogs for running. Well, I have added a new daily blog to the line up, for motivation in writing, 365 Sketches by Joe Janes under his blog title, Bite and Smile. He is now writing a brief sketch a day, which for me, the ultimate slacker means I can at least write a brief sketch/dialogue scene once a week. So I am starting the 52 sketches project. I am not committing to any particular length and I am not going to print it on this blog but I will share the idea I have come up with. So for me, the ultimate slacker, I am committing to the 52 sketches project as well as the 52 2-3 hour run project which means at least once a week I am going to complete a 2-3 hour run. I will see if this ups itself to a 4 hour run a week project but I am starting out on a 2 hour run a week project and I will track my progress.
After reading everyone's interesting blogs I have come to admit to myself that this blog is somewhat of a snooze fest. Well, it may be a snooze fest but if anyone, and it is a miracle if anyone is, reading this, you may get a good idea from one of these OTHER blogs I have referenced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do miss my Aunt, but if only I can end my life as old as she was and as surrounded by love as she. She and my dog ,Sophie, who died in the care and is buried in the backyard of my friend Kirstin, of Rim Tours, lived under lucky stars to be taken care by such great people and to die surrounded by so much love and caring. At least in my mind, I picture their stars overhead watching and protecting and supporting me now in spirit. But I miss them both!!!!!!!!!

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