The Edge of the Ledge

Too Many Books, Too Little Time

2011-05-19T09:26:00.004-05:00

I have a ton of books on my night table, I don't know how it happened. They aren't necessarily literary masterpieces, but they are all on topics that capture my interest. My night table was empty for a long time. If I go to a reading and like the topic I will buy the book to be supportive of the writer. Caitlin Kelly, beat me to a book about North Face, her book is called Malled and although very eerily we had some of the very same sentiments and even experiences, her time was spent in a mall, where I don't think I could have lasted very long. Michigan Avenue is its own unique experience, it is a world shopping district which is the cool thing about it, but Caitlin Kelly is also an amazing writer and she wrote a great, well researched book which I could not have done.

So the books on my table that are started not finished are, in no order of importance:

1) "World Without Fish" by Mark Kurlansky. I bought this at a signing that he did at the Nature Museum a few weeks ago, Dirk's Fish was there, along with the great ladies from the Shedd Aquarium. Although the book is written for kid's 9 years and up, it actually makes it easier to understand a very complicated subject and I have not finished the book yet but I hope that it ends on a happy note because it really is bringing home the subject of sustainable fishing. It is quirky and interesting..It makes me appreciate the time that I camped in Hokianga Harbor in the Bay of Islands in the north of New Zealand and we foraged for mussels and cooked them on the beach or the time that I went to local cafe in Puntos Arenas and had a heaping bowl of steamed shellfish of crustaceans that we will never ever see in the U.S. I highly, highly recommend this book to everyone who cares even a tiny iota about the environment.

2)"Forget Me Not" by Jennifer Lowe-Anker and is about her life and life after the death of her husband Alex Lowe one of the top climbers of all time. I met her at the North Face store on Michigan Avenue and she told me about the book and I have started it. If you are interested in what being a climber(rock,wall, bouldering) then you should really read this book because she really gets into the characteristics and the details of having the rock wall, climbing bug and all the cool places in the world that there are to climb.

3)"The Tenth Muse", by Judith Jones. Judith Jones was Julia Child's editor and the book is full of great detail of how her life shaped her interest in food and how she developed her point of view. This is one that I read, put down and go back to, since at some point I would love to publish some essays on food.

4) "Apartment Gardening" by Amy Pennington. This book caught my eye from Gwyneth Paltrow's email letter Goop. It is a great book as a resource with little rules of thumb, no garden pun intended, and with some really great, simple, seasonal recipes.

5)"Cinderella of Wall Street" by Lydia Fisher. I met Lydia at a get together she held at her apartment through the 85Broads group of Chicago. Lydia is one of the most gracious people I have met and eerily again we were in New York in the bond business some years apart but I completely know the world that she worked in. What is amazing to me because I worked in it, is that to succeed in that business took a lot of presence, energy and really steely determination because it is a really rough business. I have to finish her book because I think she just had complete confidence in herself which is what I really admire and she had a specific goal and knew where she wanted to go.

6)"Relentless Forward Progress" by Bryon Powell. Finally and I almost forgot this one and no, I have not run an ultra yet, but perhaps the title of this book is my new mantra, "relentless forward progress"...

I will admit, apartment gardening is more a resource I flip open, relentless just sits in front of me reminding me to do one thing, run......

Ciao,

Time Flies, Training TIme and Tolerance

2011-04-07T13:22:00.004-05:00

I think what the world needs now is a little more love and tolerance and a little less fighting and anger. I commited to the Common Thread s marathon training team this year and training starts now. The CT mission is a really positive one that I can rally behind, it is about peace and learning tolerance about others through food. What the world needs now is more tolerance of one another, less anger and sitting down and sharing meals with one another.

I for one have had negative and positive relationships with food, and I think some of the over eating support groups out there deal with eating in a negative way, "don't eat that", "I was good", "I was bad". It is not about being good or being bad, it is learning healthful enjoyment about food and the enjoyment of cooking something that tastes good that people enjoy.

If you have read my Linkedin summary, I am all about spreading and sowing positive seeds of change. What better way to sow positive seeds then through children. So this is why I love the Common Threads mission so much. I also think there isn't enough laughter and plain fun in life. In a lot of jobs it is a sign of weakness to show that you are having fun, or to share a joke with a colleague. There is a lot of fun as well as hard work in cooking and learning the techniques of cooking. But it is all about learning positive fun things not negative fun things.

So as Dr. Wayne Dyer said in his affirmation today, unbending intent. So my intent is to raise $600 plus dollars for Common Threads, to train effectively so I have a lot of fun running the marathon and maybe have some left before or after the marathon to complete a 50K race this year. As people who know me, I firmly believe that eating healthful, thoughtfully grown or raised vegetables or animals affects how we think. So the more positive seeds that are sown in the world, of awareness of how to cook, of what types of foods to look for, to request, to grow, to eat,the better.

All this said, it isn't going to be easy, I inherited my grand mother's good skin but also her pudginess so I break the laws of physics everytime I run. I do think I was meant to be a sherpa because I can certainly keep going. But I am going to practice unbending intent on raising money for CT, on training, and experiencing the joyfulness that comes from training(okay....I will admit there are also times where you have to dig deep but that is where the intent comes in).....

I think the the CT website for raising money will be up at the end of April so look for it!!!! If you do anything, get outside for one, and cook something for yourself or others for two. These are little things but it is the little things that ultimately will create change!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao,

To Travel Again and Some GREAT IDEAS

2011-02-11T10:36:00.003-06:00

I really want to get on the travel and trek bus again but I have to work on the economics of it!!!! But I have had some great ideas this week. Fortunately, when you look at the source of some of the foods and beverages that we import because they just are not going to be grown in Chicago are grown in some amazing places. So my ideas for trekking and tasting trips are:

1)Ethiopia - To trek in the Simien mountains, to check out Lalibela and the churches that are built into the ground and then to go to the farm where Ipsento, Coffee Ambassadors source their beans. I think it would be really interesting to meet the farmers, see how they live and see how coffee is picked and harvested.

2)Darjeeling - Darjeeling is to tea, the way Rheims is to Champagne. Kachengjunga is the third highest peak in the world, so it would be great to do a trek to Kachengjunga's basecamp, then to go to Darjeeling and visit the specific farms where Ineeku tea is grown. Little did I realize tea is grown from a specific type of tree, the camellia sinensis.

3)Ecuador - Now I have been to Ecuador, I climbed a volcano Cotacachi that was just a day climb and then flew from Quito to the Galapagos which was an amazing thing to do. But a great trip would be to go the rain forest in Ecuador and visit the Kallari Farming cooperative and see how cacao beans are harvested.

Oh, so many cool places to visit in the world, such little time and so many dollars needed..... Enough procrastinating from doing stairs in my building.....

Ciao

Snow, Slow Food, and Coffee Beans

2011-02-09T12:31:00.003-06:00

I just finished a workout and I am filled with gratefulness for the Chicago Parks District availability of places to workout, for $5 I got a great cardio workout in with a good view of the Lake and I had a great jog there in the snow.

In the midst of 45 minutes on the stairmaster I realized that with some of my experiences lately, my growing the tomato plant in my apartment completely indoors, going to the cupping session at Ipsento coffee and my devouring slowly and over 2 meals of the MeatyBalls sandwiches, that I need to start saying a gratefulness prayer before I eat. When I went to a weekend out in Utah with Steve Ilg, when we ate dinner he talked about being grateful for each mouthful and chewing many times to savour that mouthful. After learning last night how coffee is grown from fruit to drying or washing the seed, to roasting the coffee, the time and care and processess in producing quality food items is HUGE, it is g-I-normous and I eat so quickly relative to the G-I-NORMOUS process it took to produce that food and that is what Steve Ilg spoke about at dinner many years ago and it is all coming back. A friend many years ago over cheese and wine, made a dismissive, shaming remark to me, "Oh, Jeannie, it is just food" and she said it in a way implying that I care way too much about food. But you know, that is the reason our food system is so screwed up, people don't think about what they are eating, they take the attitude, it is nourishment whatever it is, IT IS JUST FOOD...well you know..it isn't....Buying things at the Green City Market, take Nordic Creamery's butter, it is just not butter, it is a family business, it tastes different depending on the season, it does not taste like supermarket butter, it is just not "ordinary" butter and you can read about that in the latest issue of Edible Chicago magazine by the way.

So, I am going to continue to workout at the little gym that I never knew about all these years by the lakefront, and say a little thank you before I eat things and eat more slowly and think about what I am eating the way I thought about the coffee that I was sipping and slurping last night at Ipsento and the coffee roasted by Coffee Ambassadors.

Finally I am going to appreciate the snow. Yes, I was a polar bear in another life, but snow is great to run on, it is soft on your bones and knees, it makes the lakefront more interesting and it is really beautiful if you at it closely. Off to one of my day jobs...but get outside, drink some good coffee and enjoy the snow!!!!!!!

Ciao,

Had to Post This, Made Me Laugh

2011-01-21T09:17:00.002-06:00

I got Dirks Friday Fish flash and he just completely captured the thought of any Bear's fan with these thoughts and pictures below.....

DIRK'S FRIDAY FRESH FISH FLASH

I'm sending this weekly email to give you a heads up on what is available and especially good for your weekend grill and entertaining. Each week it will highlight a selection of the best fish available in Chicago. Some you may be familiar with and some you won't but they are all worth trying!

GO, BEARS, GO!

Bears eat salmon, it makes them strong, and strong Bears kick butt! Support our Bears by eating lots of salmon this weekend.

Think of these salmon as Green Bay Packers!

GO, BEARS, GO!

It will be one of THE GAMES due to the teams and the weather........ But of course I had to relate it to food!!!!!

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-01T10:03:00.002-06:00

I walked one of my favorite local dogs, Raffa at 6am this morning for my friend John, then being the slacker that I am went right back to sleep. I am off to bike to the New Year's 5K in Lincoln Park, jog/attempt to run that and then stop by my friends Dave and Rebecca for their New Year's brunch then home and off to the store to work for the rest of the day. It is so easy to be a slacker....and that is okay, I wear the slacker name well, because beneath every slacker there is an anti-slacker who I let emerge every now and then...And that is one of life's questions to slack or not to slack.....but so my slacks will fit I have to get back to seriously exercising and at least today is a step in that direction.....

Can't believe it is 2011............................Happy New Year to everyone and I learned from old dog, Sophie, old dogs can learn new tricks and this year I am going to be up to some old and new tricks....I think it is going to be a great year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao

Chicago Foodie Holiday Gifts 31 ideas for December

2010-12-09T13:31:00.008-06:00

Okay this list will continue to grow but here is my idea list in no particular order for farm to table, farm to bar, artisanal foodie gifts for the holidays!!!

1. Burton's Maple Syrup - Really good maple syrup is hard to find and not something that most people will really search out to buy for themselves so what a great gift, locally made, really tasty maple syrup. Personally, I prefer Grade B because it is a little higher in nutrients and when I try to do the master cleanse, maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne and water to flush out all the holiday excesses, it tastes better.

2. Spices from the Spice House - Spices perk up a meal without adding calories. I think people don't realize the difference between fresh spices and the supermarket variety or the difference herbs mixed with salt make. Spices are great hostess gifts, stocking stuffers and I firmly believe you can never have enough spice in life!!!!!!!

3. Pastoral Artisan - Gift basket, cheese, wine, gift certificate to wine/cheese classes. How can you go wrong shopping here. Do happy people eat cheese or does cheese make people happy? Greg and Ken the owner's of Pastoral are the Chicago source for all local cheeses within the region, they know the makers, they have visited everyone, and Pastoral offers so much more, like really yummy sandwiches. You cannot go wrong giving clients, friends, family a gift basket from Pastoral. They put the A in showcasing artisanal products.

4. Hum Spirits- What if you were told, there is a spirit out there that you will likely be hangover free and is good for your health and tasty at the same time, hello, welcome to Hum Spirits..Hum is high in antioxidants, cardamom, ginger, lime and hibiscus. It is the new world of botanical spirits...I love this world and it is definitely something your friends, family may not know about, so something new and it will be a hit to whomever you gift it to.

5. Rare Bird Preserves - ELizabeth Madden the chief cook and bottle washer of Rare Bird Preserves puts so much attention and focuses on all the littliest details to make these preserves so incredibly tasty. If you ever heard her describe the process of making these preserves including making her own pectin, you would not believe she prices these delectable spreads where she does. Yet again, you can never have enough preserves to put on breads, meats and cheeses. Another great gift, stocking stuffer or house present.

6. Nicole's Crackers - Who can miss the purple and white boxes of Nicole's crackers, they are made locally in Chicago and being the carb lover that I am, the boxes disappear very quickly. Nicole gives each cracker a witty name and description, and she is always coming up with ideas for new products. Who does not want an extra box of crackers? Yet again another great gift that you can't go wrong with. And Nicole, herself is such an interesting person who constantly recreates herself and that personality is in her crackers.

7. City Provisions, CP Deli - So much to say, so little time... CP Deli is ground zero for almost any locavore product in the Illinois universe and the merchandising is beautiful and we haven't even gotten to the food. Every product listed here plus more can be found there, plus my favorite salad dressing in the universe to date, Aquaranch Basil vinaigrette dressing, and so much more. This is just a have to go, locavore destination in Chicago, even if you aren't you have to go....that's all I can say and if you want to give the foodie in your life something you both can do together, buy a gift certificate to one of Cleetus Friedman's Farm dinners, I still have not gone for full disclosure but it is on my bucket list of locavore/foodie things I have to do.

8. Marion Street Cheese Market -When in Oak Park go to Marion Street, when not in Oak Park, make Marion Street a stop and their dining room keeps getting better and better, Marion Street talks the talk and walks the walk when it comes to artisanal cheese and commitment to all things sustainable and local plus they have a might fine menu to guide you to wine/beer and food pairings, gifts, gift certificates, another place you just cannot go wrong.....

9. North Shore Distillery- Oh, I love local spirits, nothing like having a still at your home, the more you read about their story and hear about their spirits and the energy, love, and care that goes into their products, absinthe anyone? You cannot go wrong giving this as a gift and making it a must have spirit when you go out.......

10. Koval Spirits - Another husband /wife team another distillery, (who knew?) in Chicago and KOSHER as well. Ginger liqueur includes hand grating ginger.....Speaking of care, taste, quality of ingredients and did I say KOSHER????????????

11. Flight Chicago - Okay for the ultimate foodie gift, and for the insider Chicago foodie welcome to Flight Deck Chicago. The gals behind this great company bring their joy and enthusiasm to the ultimate insider foodie gift, have a tour, meet with the chef, have a private tasting of top locavore/foodie Chicago restaurants and get behind the scenes........ Okay I am a populist but also an elitist and this is for the ultimate Chicago foodie experience.......

12. The Olive Tap - I am obsessive about condiments and this is THE place to go for the absolute low down on oils, vinegars and much more. Long Grove is a a little foodie oasis and if you can't get to Italy to buy from the source then this is the place to be. I can't always justify stocking up on the olive oils I really want but I absolutely would love them as gifts, one short cut to great food is great ingredients and this is an absolute destination location to buy them, that is if you aren't going to Italy or France in the next month.....

13. Salted Caramel - Oh the mix of sweet and savory, a great snack food that everyone will love, popcorn and bacon among other combos.....another local Chicago product that will never be turned down if you give it to someone........

14. Katherine Ann's Confections - Katherine Ann sells her chocolates at a lot of the local Chicago farmer's markets, hand dipped chocolates, need I say anything more??

15. Slow Food Chicago Membership - Give a gift of a membership to Slow Food Chicago to get on the mailing list for a slew of reasonably priced events at local restaurants, involvement in the local food community, learn about child health and nutrition and just get a huge glimpse at what is going on the food activist community in Chicago and in the world at the same time eat well and drink well, where can yo go wrong??

16. Green City Market Membership - Get on the GCM's mailing list and get an entree to many of the farms that chefs in the Chicago locavore community source from. Expand your vegetable, meat, cheese and dairy knowledge and get access to so much great local product and learn from the many chefs that support the market as well...a locavore must.....

17. The Season's on Henry's Farm - Is your locavore/foodie an avid reader, wanting a local Chicago foodie read, or is your loved one just wanting a great read period, well, The Season's on Henry's Farm is a story about love of family and a great guide to the cycles of vegetables and livestock and what to cook when if you live in Illinois and learn a lot about growing, cooking the local produce of Illinois.

18. Chicagourmet Membership - Give a gift of a membership to ChicagoGourmets, a group organized around the great chefs of Chicago, get a years worth of dining events each with a slighlty different angle and theme and experience the restaurants in a very unique unable to duplicate way. Find out about new places and meet new people, what is not to like about new place, food and friends?

19. River Valley Ranch Mushrooms, Tomato Soup, Portabello Chili- RVK's are not only the mushroom people, they are the mushroom product people. For a person like me who likes the whole area of umami tastes, RVKs is the place to go. Yes, it would be great to make your own portabella chile but their's is fresh and already made. I just loved quality, jarred, local products and RVK keeps coming out with more. Most of their products are only available online, farmer's markets or selected stores(most of which are listed here).

20. Tomato Mountain Salsa - Another company whose products are made locally and jarred. I love the TM chipotle salsa with scrambled eggs. There are very few calories in salsas so it is a win/win food product that you cannot go wrong giving anytime of the year. Another product that spices up your life, woo hoo!!!

21. Gift Certificate to Naha , Prairie Fire, Vie, Province, Balsan, The Bristol, Hot Chocolate, Urban Belly/Belly Shack, The Girl and the Goat, Big Jones, Marion Street Market, Signature Room , Uncommon Ground, North Pond

22. Nice Cream - Hand made, small batch ice cream sourcing local, seasonal ingredients, yum....

23. Prairie Fruit Farm - I call Wes and Lesley the happy goat cheese people, they love their goats and they make cow cheese as well, honey and host farm dinners. Their cheese is very yummy that is all I can say.....it is a must buy cheese!!!!!!!!!!! They both are so committed to quality products and sustainable farming...it is overwhelming...

24. Nordic Creamery Grumpy Goat Cheese - Personally I love the butter he sells at the Green City Market, it acts like clarified butter and for a lazy cook like me, that is a beautiful thing when it comes to sauteing things up quickly. I have gravitated to their grumpy goat cheese which tastes like a cheddar cheese, their cheeses are mostly available at the GCM and other farmer's markets.....

25. Dirk's Fish, Whitefish salad, Crab salad, a gift certificate to one of their cooking classes and in my mind there is only really one place to buy fish in Chi-town and that is Dirk's. You have to get on his monthly email list you will laugh and learn at the same time and really learn a lot about fish. I have still not gotten over my phobia about cooking fish in an apartment without great ventilation but Dirk is moving me in the right direction. And I know longer have champagne tastes, I have King crab tastes, I really never liked crab until I tasted King Crab, it didn't taste like crab, or is there really no crab like King crab???

26. Crop to Cup Coffee - One more obsession I have coffee and like with most things I truly believe, you get what you pay for. We have a lot of great local coffee companies in Chi-town but I have drunk the C2C coffee and it is incredibly tasty...I have still to learn more about where it is sourced, how it is roasted but for the coffee afficionado in your life, C2C is a must and speaking about sustainable and committed the more I read and learn about C2C the more I am astounded.....

27. Templeton Rye - Okay this is another product that I gush over. Yes it is made in Iowa but when you read their newsletter, read about what a family business it is, read how it is made you will gush as well...Yes.. one more reason to drink spirits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yet another product you cannot go wrong giving...

28. Seedling Fruit- One of their fruit mustados, their tart cherry cider, or any of their other fruit and fruit/savory spreads. Yes, yet another company that makes all these small batch condiments, most of which you can only find at the GCM and other farmer's markets. I am a lazy chef and if you add a sweet savory quality condiment to a simple roasted or baked meat it turns a so so meal into a fantastic meal....this is a great gift gift for someone who loves food but does not have a whole lot of time to cook.

29. Snookelfritz Ice Cream - Yet another ice cream that defines artisanal. The flavors that come through in all her seasonal ice cream flavors just cannot be repeated except by Nancy Silver the artist behind the ice cream. She can be found at the Green City Market and it is just "to die for" flavors.

30. Flora's Confections Flora's Pate de fruits and other confections are yet another incredibly delicate, seasonal, not to be repeated product that you cannot go wrong giving for any occasion. Flora is yet another mulit-talented artisan who is also the producer of the film, Kings of Pastry.

31. Kinnikinnick Farms Arugula or Basil Pesto - Yet another multifaceted farm, I love their arugula pesto which I can buy at the GCM, I love all things green and it works with pasta, on meat, as a tasty snack....they also sponsor farm stays but yet again, I am a lazy cook and a jar of their arugula pesto makes for a quick, yet healthy tasty pasta dish....

31a. Heritage Prairie Honey or a Gift Certificate to one of their farm dinners - Heritage Prairie is one of the "go to" places for farm dinners in the Chicagoland area. They are experts at in and their different honeys, including lavender is a hard to find, very tasty little gift to anyone.

31b. Mead from Wild Blossom Meadery - Who knew that mead is alive and well in Chicago thanks to Greg Fischer from beverage art. He sources his honey from hives all over Chicago and on tops of some of the hotels in the downtown area.

31c. Cooking classes at the French Pastry School or at Kendall College - Giving cooking classes as a gift is a win/win situation for the giver, you get to be the tester. Both of these Chicago instituations are incredibley active in giving back to the community and supporting the local Chicago food community and you will learn a ton at the same time!!!!!!!!!

31d. A subscription to Edible Chicago magazine - Okay, this really should have been number one on my list, but a subscription to ECHIC gives you a window to all things local in Chicago, exposure to incredible writers, inspiration, ideas and inclusion into the growing nationwide Edible Communities.....

31e. Capriole Cheese - Yet another and incredible local farmstead cheese....Available at the GCM and the cheese shops listed above, yummy, yummy, yummy..all I can say is so much cheese, such little time!!!

31f. Learn Great Foods - Buy a gift certificate for one of these farm dinners that are throughout the midwest and there are great little food books on the website as well that focus on specific vegetables and give help with how to prepare them and include recipes from some of the farmers....

This list will be continued........I hope to be at least up to todays date the 8th by the end of today....I will add additional info to these entries as the month progresses. And I am sure I forgot places that I love but this is a start and idea list for anyone looking for really quality gifts for the locavore, foodie or just lover of food and beverages in your life.............

Ciao and happy holidays.....

Are You a Foodie or a Farmie?

2010-11-03T19:47:00.003-05:00

You know you are a Farmie when you go into a restaurant and ask if they serve Gunthrop chickens, Dietzler or Tallgrass beef, Slagel Pork or Genesis, Nichols or Green Acres produce.

You know you are a Foodie when you have your favorite gastro pub and like to drink a 3 Floyds, Half Acre, Two Brothers or Sofie with your meal.

You know you are a Farmie when you have your City Provisions, Heritage Prairie or Province farm dinner scheduled already for 2011.

You know you are a Foodie when you shop at Provenance, Pastoral, Southport Grocers, Marion Street Cheese Market or Goddess and the Grocer.

You know are a Farmie when you've dined at The Bristol, Vie, Prairie Fire, Signature Room, Province, Girl & The Goat, Naha, Old Town Social, Urban Belly, Balsan or Hot Chocolate.

You know you are a Foodie when you've dined at Schwa, Moto, Alinea, Naha, Vie, L20, Tru or Graham Eliot, The Bristol. Vie, Prairie Fire, Signature Room, Province, Girl & The Goat, Old Town Socila, Urban Belly, Balsan or Hot Chocolate.

You know you are a Farmie when getting to the Green City Market or your local farmer's market is your biggest priority on a Saturday.

You know you are a Foodie when you've been to the Common Threads World Festival or Taste of the Nation among other fantastic foodie fundraisers for great causes.

I don't know what you are if you answered yes to all of these, a Serious Eater I guess!!! Then go here... to SE.

Just Do It

2010-10-27T10:04:00.002-05:00

"In the day" Nike had an ad, many, many years ago but you know, it was brilliant and it is so true with so many things in life, "Just Do It", that goes for my getting out the door for a run in the morning, going to yoga, getting a new job, getting a better attitude, getting in better shape....I just have to repeat over and over, just do it!

Ciao

Why isn't Angelina at Terra Madre???

2010-10-21T22:47:00.010-05:00

Okay, I posted a Twitter comment, "Why isn't Angelina at Terra Madre ?" I know the answer to why? Well, duh, she is an actress which is all about thin,thin, thin. She is so busy that she just does not care about food, it is not on her mind.

WHY SHE SHOULD BE THERE??? With all her children from all over the world and if she goes to all the other major global conferences then she should go to this one. Food, is only, one of the most common, critical, crucial substances that affects the entire world across economic classes. It affects our health, how we feel, how we think, our survival!!!!!!!!!!!!SO, if you do not know what the Slow Food , Terra Madre symposium is, check it out... Check out Salon de Gusto as well.....start questioning your food choices no matter how much you way or how much money you make....it is your right to question what you eat....If you really want to change the world, then you need to focus on what we eat, how we eat, the food we eat, how it is grown, produced.. Angelina don't go to the U.N. go to your local farmers market, suppport your local farmer..to change the world, support a farmer, one farmer at a time, one family at a time.....Angelina, if you really want to make a difference, go to Turin right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....

The Slacker is Gone for Awhile, back to the edges of ledges

2010-09-01T19:56:00.002-05:00

Oh, it is so nice eating and drinking (in reasonable and sometimes out of reason quantities), I love summer in Chicago and the bounty of the farmer's markets but the slacker is gone for awhile and I am now in my early morning running regime which curtails a lot of eating and drinking in the evening. I have a few personal running goals I am shooting for, and overcoming my slacker tendency of loving my nice, warm, comfy bed in the morning. But the sun is still out early and the weather has been beautiful and there are plenty of edges of ledges to run along on the Lakefront. Life is all about the edges of ledges, it makes you evaluate whether the glass is half full or half empty and great, amazing health as I have another birthday, Sept,. 17th, yes I am a very, neat nick, meticulous virgo but a slacker at heart....that being able to run for a gizillion miles is really a lucky thing to be able to do and breath in the great air and appreciate the amazing lake!!! And I love ledges, what can I say, life is very boring otherwise........

So off to the races I go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never Give Up!!

2010-08-20T18:27:00.004-05:00

When I was in Ladakh India(back in the days of when I had $'s to travel) I heard the Dalai Lama speak and I bought some things to remind me of his talk. The saying below hangs from one of my closet handles but I don't always read it. I did today and it is exactly what I needed to read:

Never Give Up

No matter what is going on

Never give up

Develop the heart

Too much energy in your country

is spent developing the mind

instead of the heart

Develop the heart

Be compassionate

Not just to your friends but to everyone

Be compassionate

Work for peace

in your heart and in the world

Work for Peace

And I say it again

Never give up

No matter what is happening

No matter what is going on around you

Never give up

I take this to mean, never give up on your dreams no matter how impossible they seem, never give up on your goals and ambitions. I feel the world pushes people to compromise their dreams and goals. I think this means never give up being a human and responding to people from a humanistic perspective. It is funny I am on the Jane Addams Hull House mailing list and there is a huge birthday celebration for her on September 9th. I never realized she was the first American woman to win the Nobel Peace Prize, I just didn't know that. The Hull House is a great email list to get on because they sponsor really informative events in particular the Soup Kitchen and the Tuesday Farmer's Market at UIC.

The world sometimes pushes people to sink to a very low common denominator of behavior, thoughts and interests but you can never give up on what you care about. So happy to read this, maybe it is the H and H weather we have been having but I had a very discouraging week so I need to really take these words to heart!!!!!!!!! And get myself to yoga tomorrow at Yogaview, and Sunday...yoga always makes things better and get out and run as well, running always makes things better, being outside always makes things better and I definitely was not outside enough this week and I feel it mentally and physically but I can't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How to Fund a Life of Trekking and Climbing

2010-08-14T13:42:00.002-05:00

In my Twitter meanderings, saw a link to an 85broads, member(6 degrees of separation-I have been a member of 85Broads) who I actually have spoken to in the past, who just completed an adventure grand slam, here. I don't have the urge to climb high profile peaks like Everest, except Aconcagua perhaps. I'd love to ski to the North Pole and go on other trips that are not so high profile. But how do you fund a life like that? I went close to broke funding the traveling life that I had. How do you fund a traveling life without(I am not saying that she did) having to do high profile climbs because of the name....Anybody want to fund me???

And have started training today...when you are 5' 2" and love to drink and eat and that "inner partyier" just won't go away, there is only one answer, ultras and I not talking Michelob Ultra.....so now it is one foot in front of the other.....you have to start somewhere and that somewhere is here and now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patience is a Virtue!!!!!

2010-08-13T08:27:00.002-05:00

This one is very hard Wayne Dyer! I will keep this one in mind all day!!!

BE INFINITELY PATIENT

Being infinitely patient means having an absolute knowing that you're in vibrational harmony with the all-creating force that intended you here. You know that everything will happen at just the right time, at just the right place, with just the right people.

Plants aren't patient, my tomato stalk keeps growing and has now formed a huge S parallel to the ground, suspended in air. No tomatos but I keep talking and Q tipping to my plant that I have now named Fred and I say little tomato affirmations to it, I need to create virtual bees to pollinate the tomato flowers....

Amazing food and beverages are such a great treat but it is back to the pavement, sand, Lakefront Path for me but I have to be patient that I will get fitter, but the before stage stinks!!!!!!!! I am recognizing but not acknowledging there is a lot of meanness in the world so when I see a community, or someone being human I think it is important to appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FInally, laughter and humor is a really great thing, I really have to remember that!!

Just Putting One Foot in Front of the Other

2010-08-02T09:36:00.002-05:00

Some days you just have to put one foot in front of the other and continue on, that is what I am doing. Finally, about to go out for a run. It is funny how easy it is to slip into, not run mode or not go to yoga mode which I have been doing. I have to remind myself it is in those times when I need to run the most. I have to say, NIKE's motto from "In the Day" said it best, just do it!!!! I just have to ignore all the people on the Lakefront. I love wintertime running on the Lakefront because no one is out there. Summertime there are so many people and so many skinny people running, it gets intimidating for not so skinny people like me to get out there and run.

My bike which is my car, is broken down and I have to get that fixed, too. Oh well, this too shall pass!!! A lot of really fun food events coming up, but I miss hiking in Telluride, skiing at Snowbird, mountain biking in Moab, among other things!!!

Okay, enough procrastination which I have to say I am a complete and total expert at!!!!!!!! I have to "just do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Wayne Dyer for another Great Dyerism!!

2010-07-15T09:07:00.006-05:00

I think 99% of this blog is to remind myself of things that I have done, aspire to do or want to keep in mind, I was about to use the word, "should", and stopped, I really am trying to eliminate that word from my vocabulary. So the latest Dyerism that I really need to keep focused on....

I ALIGN MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT MY GROWTH.

If you meet someone whose soul is not aligned with yours, send them love and move along.

It is funny because in the farmers markets, artisan product world, I get very inspired by people who are completely focused on growing, cooking, creating products that are really fantastic and they never get the monetary payback relative to all the time but they certainly get the karmic payback because hopefully they are doing what they really want to do and can be proud of it. The ultramarathon world is inspiring because it has not yet reached the level of the "marathons" which have now become corporatized and the ultramarathoners are doing it because they really love the challenge and being out there...I just have to continue to focus on the spirit of these people and not let negative people who I encounter in life bring me down. I think negative people just are trying to suck you into their negative world because they want company in their negativeness and any engagement with these negative people even if they are dominating the room, the space you are standing in brings you into their world which is what they want. I have to keep this dyerism in mind. It is like the song, Move Along, by the All American Rejects. My brother who is a baseball coach, my niece calls him, "Coachie", specifically he works with pitchers, encounters this as well, my brother happens to be an excellent coach and I think some of the other coaches get intimidated by him because he is good so to make themselves feel better they belittle him behind his back which he knows to ignore, he knows it goes on and it makes for unpleasant situations but you just have to Move Along. So I just have to keep that song, Move Along, Move Along, it helps when I have been on death march treks in the hot sun, in races where I just feel horrible and in work situations where the people are really dragging me down, just have to Move Along!!!

One of these days I will come up with a great business idea that will help me to be sustainable financially. I had the idea for Drippy Dog, rain ponchos for large dogs but found it really hard to execute. So for all those people that are executing their ideas, and dreams, you go, you go, it is not easy to do but YOU are my inspiration!!!!!!!! Thanks Wayne Dyer for some more great words to live by!!!

There is a Reason Slow Food is SO Good -Eat Less But Eat Well!!

2010-06-25T08:41:00.005-05:00

Finally biked up to Great Lakes Pizza last night, finally understood why Slow Food is so good and this pizza was slow, got there to order a "To Go" at 7pm and picked it up, a #3, green onions, garlic and rapini at 8:30pm but that is okay!!!! I went to InFineSpirits, and had a glass of wine and checked out their local menu, okay first I stopped off at La Tache, and tried a La Tache martini, that was mighty good!!! It was such a beautiful night that I was okay with the wait.

When I finally picked up the pizza, I stopped at one of the cute little benches by a huge pot of flowers that are all over Andersonville and had 2 slices and ate them slowly!!! The crust was absolutely amazing and the ingredients, I was in "green heaven"!!! It hit me as I was savoring a piece, we don't need to eat that much food and we don't need to eat so quickly and I need to be more appreciate of little bites and how long it takes to make things really good. Nick and Lydia were working really hard and it takes time to make really good things!!!

From working in a corporate job, we expect everything right now, instantly and really good things, to be made really well and crafted take time and we don't need that much food, we just need better, higher quality more nutritious food!! So I happily biked my way home slowly along the Lakefront on the beautiful night that we had.

Meanwhile, my training for the 50 mile race in October is going slowly, so that I need to speed up a little and my tomato plant that I am growing for Tomato Fest, the Chalk's Early Jewel, is growing quickly and I successfully transplanted it to a much bigger pot, it is sitting in a very sunny place and already has 2 flowers on it!!!

So yeah to summer, yeah to eating slowly and being appreciative of small things!!!!!!!!!!!

The Way I Want to Live Life

2010-05-16T18:33:00.003-05:00

I have started reading Dr. Wayne Dyer's affirmation a day. Today this is what it was:

EXPAND YOUR REALITY

Expand your reality to the point where you pursue what you love doing and excel at it. Involve yourself in high-energy levels of trust, optimism, appreciation, reverence, joy, and love when you engage in every activity in your life.

You know, this says it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If only we all could live life this way. It is just that when you are in the process of doing this, me, it can be very uncomfortable and scary!!! But I just have to remember his words.....This comes to running, yoga, skiing(I will ski again), cooking, eating, drinking, writing, running, and working in jobs that you are doing to pay bills....and just life as a whole!!

Food Adventures By Bike

2010-04-13T07:47:00.004-05:00

I continue to love lists!!! I love Spring!!!! Well, there is nothing like eating, drinkng and biking. I love my vegetables, I love my healthy things and the food below is quality and healthy..so what is not to love?...I truly believe it is all in moderation and uppng the exercise!!!!!!

1. Bike (6-7miles, not bad) to Kuma's Corner, get a burger(have enough time while biking to think about which one) and beer, bike back.

2. Bike(prob same distance) to Great Lake Pizzeria, have sup and bike back.

3. Urban Belly, same thing..it seems like all I need is to hover around Elston and Belmont and I will hit all these places.

To be continued, I am not done! While I am coming up w/more ideas for the list, if you have an idea, leave a comment!!!!!!!

My New Favorite Substances I am Obsessing Over

2010-03-28T10:17:00.018-05:00

1. Honey - Read all the benefits of honey here. Who knew? I didn't. I am now trying to have a cup of tea before bed w/honey, I like cooking with honey, honey and sweet potatoes in particular, and there are so many honeys to choose from, Heritage Prairie Lavender Honey, Chicago Honey Co-op, and then there is Mead sold by Wild Blossom Meadery here n Chi-town. Like wine, like any natural substance, the honey will taste different depending on what flowers and plants are growing near the hives. I know, honey is not cheap, but you don't need to use as much of it as sugar and because you metabolize it so much quicker and in a healthier way than regular table sugar(go to link benefits of honey, here if you didn't before) how can you not start using honey???????? Honey is a wonder of nature. And if I start to have a craving for something sweet, a spoonful of honey does the trick!

2. Maple Syrup - Read about all the benefits of maple syrup here. Another wonder of nature, maple syrup. My favorite local syrup is Burton's, I always assumed, growing up on the East coast and going to college at Dartmouth in New Hampshire, that maple syrup was a product of New England and Canada. Who knew that maple trees go as far west as Indiana and that the syrup tastes really great!!! Not only are pancakes the easiest things to make that even I can do it but maple syrup goes great with roasted sweet potatoes, and most root vegetables, works in my favorite cleansing drink The Master Cleanse and is an all around great thing to have in your pantry!!!!!!!

3.Wheat Grass - Read about the benefits of wheat grass here. I could go and on about how I am so adamant about including a shot of wheat grass in your diet. When I went to the Green City Market yesterday, Tiny Greens, my favorite WG to buy was sold out by 10am. WG definitely takes a bit of time to get used to. But it is one of the best things you can do for yourself!!!!!!!!!! Read about the benefits that's all I can say......and Tiny Greens if you read about the farm, you will understand the care that goes into growing this particular WG.

4. FRESH Tofu - I have to be honest, I have not quite incorporated fresh tofu into my diet. But the benefits are here. I just heard her speak and tasted the tofu made by Jenny Yang of Phoenix Bean Products, and Tiny Greens makes it as well, that my opinion was changed on tofu. Then when I looked into the benefits of tofu, I decided that I really want to include it in my food repetoire. The amazing thing about tofu is that it is a sponge and picks up flavor really easily, I tasted some of Jenny's tofu and was happily surprised. I am not a huge meat eater, and I can't really say when the last time I had red meat, it was that long ago, and actually the thought of red meat now kind of makes me feel sick, but tofu is a great source of protein among other things, and all you really need are spices, which can be bought at my favorite spice place, The Spice House, and some nice vinegar or oil which can be bought or ordered from The Olive Tap, and voila you have this incredibly tasty concoction in front of you. Even, I, the inept cook, can whip something up that hits my taste buds.

5. Pectin - Before meeting Elizabeth from Rare Bird Preserves, I really didn't know what pectin was. Here are the benefits of it. Mike Sula, The Food Chain, blog for the Chicago Reader, produced a tiny video of Elizabeth making preserves, publicly available on YouTube, here. Elizabeth derives her pectin fresh from the apples she uses for her preserves. I couldn't find anything written about the difference of fresh pectin versus commercialy sold pectin. However, intuitively it seems that a jam must be better for you if the pectin used is fresh from the fruits used to make the jam, without any additives to make the pectin have a longer shelf life. But I am going to start to pay attention more to what substances have pectin in it. WHo knew???

Well, I could go on and on about olive oils, about vinegars about cacao, about coffee, about red wine, about vegetables about funghi,and blue green algae but I won't. Honey, maple syrup, wheat grass, tofu and pectin have been the latest substance I have been obsessing about and trying to incorporate more into my diet and be aware of. For me the hapless cook and consummate slacker, the more I use things that I know are good for me, and taste good, the less I have to worry about other things, and it makes life simpler, easier and less stressful and most of all, I feel better and am happier, isn't that what it is all about??

My other latest obsession has been Europe, Verbier, skiing, and living in Aspen part of the year and how to make it happen.....Thinking Verbier reminded me of my climb with my friend Judy arranged by Adventures to the Edge, that I came across when I was on a trip to Creste Butte. Judy and I with a guide climbed the Pigne de la Le, that is pictured in a video here, not my video but it is funny, I have a picture next to that huge cairn.................I have been trying to make it happen and manifest it despite my lack of funds and any kind of job that would pay for it(at the moment). I don't really think anyone reads this blog except my friend Cat(thank you!) but if you do and you have any ideas for me to make living in Aspen part of the year and living in Chicago part of the here happen, please leave a comment, I would really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao JB

New Running Shoes,Will the relationship last?

2010-03-22T09:32:00.006-05:00

Well, I went to the Shamrock Shuffle Expo and bought slightly used running shoes for $50, they really don't even looked use, Saucony Pro Grid Hurricane 11, listed on their website at $140. I am so excited!!! For the last 1+years I have been running in shoes I get from where I work, and between working all day on a cement floor with the shoes on and then running on the asphalt on the Lake Front, my feet and legs have been hurting. As much as the place has put us through training to explain all the thought that goes into producng the shoes, all the shoes hurt my feet after about a week of wear.

However, I still don't understand why the running shoes break down so quickly? The gortex versions of the their shoes do work really well in the snow but running on the Lakefront it feels like I am wearing cement shoes and the shoes really kill my feet. What is it about the midlayer and the material that the midsole is made out of that makes a Saucony, a Brooks or an Asics feel great and last a long time and the other shoes break down so quickly and feel so bad??

So the question is, will my relationship with the Saucony's last? Only time will tell but I now have no excuse when it comes to running because I now have shoes that are really comfortable!!!! Some other trail shoes I would love to try are Brooks Cascadas and La Sportivas which I have read really good things about. I was miserable for a long time having to put on the other shoes(I still have to wear them at work and leave work with my feet and legs and body aching a lot of the time) so now there will be a lot of homeless people who wear size 6 1/2 w/the shoes I get for free on. So my goal now is to get my mileage up and to stay off pavement as much as possible.

I also have to get back to speedwork once a week .. have to get in gear!!!!!!!!!

Woo hoo!!

Tastings and Foragings

2010-03-10T13:37:00.006-06:00

I love lists so my latest list is all the tasting, sampling, discerning, learning you can do about artisanal food products and beverages in Chicago...I always love learning something new...

1.Pastoral Artisan - Greg O'Neil one of the owners sent out a questionnaire to customers and he listened to the feedback. Pastoral was always good about wine tastings and cheese samplings but he has stepped up the schedule. His is a great email list to get on to, he has great relationships with a lot of fabulous artisanl cheese producers in the area, you will always learn something and you will taste some great cheese. And Pastoral now has 3 locations, Lake st in the loop, the French Market at the Ogilvie Center and in Lakeview on Broadway. All 3 locations make sandwiches "to die for", really!

2. LUSH wine and spirits - Lushians as I call them are serious about wine but they also are serious about having fun while learning about wine. LUSH has 3 locations, West Chicago, South Halstead and Roscoe village, I just wish there was a LUSH near me in Streeterville. They are really active about havings tastings and hosting events where you have fun and learn about wine at the same time and they care about quality, value and are really supportive of the sustainable, local food community in Chicago..as I said..I WISH there was a LUSH near me(Streeterville, Goldcoast,Old Town??)...r u listening LUSHIES???

3. House of Glunz - Speaking of Old Town, when I first moved to Chicago after being a NYC whipper snapper, I saw House of Glunz and thought what is it. Little did I know that Barbara GLunz is one of the most supportive women in terms of all things culinary and artisanal in Chicago. Get on the House of Glunz email list. I have not been able to make many of their wine tastings but my most memorable was hearing Nicolas Joly speak and taste his wine, he is considered one of the founders of biodynamism in wine. Hearing him speak to me, was music to my ears and after bicycling through the Dordogne and bicycling through Burgundy his whole point of terroir and the elements that contribute to the wine made so much sense, although I will totally admit, in a world where it is very hard to be authentic and true to oneself and sustainable financially, Joly's philosophy goes to the extreme. But I highly recommend getting on House of Glunz email list because every event they hold is a quality event.

4. The Green City Market - I coudl go on and on about the Green City Market, but I can only say go check it out for yourself. I am just in artisanal and local heaven when I go, so many vegetable, in the summer I challenge myself to learn about a new vegetable a week, all the cheese, bread, and meats,,,,,Go, go, go...so much to taste and learn...GO....ANd have a shot of TinyGreens wheat grass while you are there!!!

5. Dirk's Fish - If you want to learn about fish, taste fish, go to Dirk's fish and the homemade soups his wife makes are incredible. Dirk's is another newsletter you will be happy to get. So many stores and companies are trying to capture our names to send emails some even to our cell phones. Dirk's newsletter is one you will be happy to get. As much as Chicago is the city of Big Shoulders and the basis for The Jungle...Fish and the issue of sustainability is huge and a subject I think a lot of people forget about. Go to Dirk's on CLybourne on a Saturdya afternoon, you will be able to taste fish, pick up a recipe and for me, perhaps, lose my phobia about cooking fish. Dirk's has cooking classes and events to checkout as well!!!!

6. Logan Square Kitchen - It is my understanding, part of the founding of LSK was to help tiny, tiny, artisanl producers have a place to cook. Now LSK is supporting them by having a pastry market once or twice a month. Another place to GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all I can say, go to their website, check it out, read and you will see why you should go.

7. Nacional 27 - Adam Seger at NZ27 hosts cocktail classes primarily focusing on Farm to Bar products. After one of his clasees, you will never slug down a cocktail again and you will under the difference and quality of a real cocktail versus a drink. His classes helped me to understand why cocktails should be sipped and slowly, and it is just no the expense or the alcohol but a respect for the ingredients and the care that goes into making not just a good cocktail but a great one!!!!

8. Uncommon Ground - I can't forget Uncommon Ground. Helen and Mike Cameron constantly have events going on and great music!!! The biggest draw for me are the Green Room sessions they sponsor once a month focused on a them within the green world, UC is also a great venue for music that I REALLY need to take more advantage of!!!

9. Feast and Goddess and Grocer- Debbie Sharpe proprietor of Feast and Goddess and Grocer offers wine tastings the third Wednesday of every month and for $20 dollars you can have a one on one with these small distributors of low yield, organic wines. It is a great place to ask stupid questions all you want and to learn, I went last month and wish I had brought a larger budget with me to buy wines.

10. Green Drinks - Foresight Design coordinates ahost of prgrams focused on networking and fostering ideas and businesses focused on sustainability in Chicago. His email list is a great one to get on.

And there are so many other places in the suburbs, like The Olive Tap, that is focused on educating the customer on delectable condiments and Chicago based businesses like The Spice House that I love to stop into and smell and look and sniff. SO many great places to go, so little time..,,ugh,,,,,

NBC Olympic Coverage or How Not to Watch the Olympics

2010-02-20T13:25:00.013-06:00

For some reason this time round, more than any other, I really feel that NBC is exerting their "Lucyness" over the Olympics. I grew up in a town where a lot of my classmates skied, so I am a fan of all the alpine events. Went to Dartmouth, a bit before (You go Andrew!!)Andrew Weibrecht's time when the college was about the mountains and the outdoors. The only way I have found to keep up real-time with the alpine events is either to just read the play-by-play results on the Olympic website and you can at least track the results and names and the other is read the Twitter comments. I even tried to go to the BBC and see if I could link on Live video there and a message came back"Not available in yor area".

It is really sad that in this day and age of instant everything, and all the technology at our finger tips, that NBC because of its contract can withhold viewing and pictures from the American public purely because they own the rights. The day and age of Big Brother is here. I don't think this hold will last for long(see below) and I think this attitude and actions shows what a dinosaur NBC is. First off, who watches Jay Leno, people do, but what people? People whose minds must be made of mush and are 80 years old. The video whizzes and techies will figure out by the next Olympics how to circumvent all this Big Brotherishness and hopefully Live/Real time viewing will be available....

How stupid does NBC really think we are by making an already run event, a real suspense in reshowing in Primetime as if it has just been run...NBC you lost me awile ago but now I know why.....

Well, finally found a Live Feed link to watch the Alpine events, www.fromsport.com I think that NBC has decided that skiing is a secondary sport....they would rather focus on Bobsled and Ice Dancing.....nothing wrong with either but SO TYPICAL..why do I feel like I should live in another country sometimes??

10 Easy Things U can Do to Save the earth

2010-01-30T12:09:00.002-06:00

Okay, besides buying Philippe Bourseiller's book, here is my top 10 list of little things u can do to save the earth..

1. When shopping and someone offers to put your items in a plastic bag, just say no and put it in your own bag. Even if you say no to just a few bags, that is a step in the right direction.

2. Pick up a piece of trash on the ground that isn't yours and put it in a garbage can.

3. Support your local farmer's market like the Green City Market...

4. Support chef's who source local and support local farmers.

5. Change one paper item in your house to recyclable, TP(toilet paper), PT(paper towels)

6. Lower the temperature in your house

7. Turn on one less light

8. Walk somewhere where if you wanted to you could walk but took a cab or drove

9. Support Climate Cycle

10. Take a run outdoors rather than the treadmill at the health club, saves energy and better for you...

SO speaking of which, putting this list together was my procrastination from a run so out I go.....

10 More Ways to Save the Earth & a New List

2010-01-10T10:56:00.002-06:00

I am continuing with Philippe Bourseiller's list of 365 Ways to Save the Earth, and I would love to travel to all the places he has taken pictures of.

11. Do not feed wild animals. It alters their behavior. In parks it attracts vermin.

12. Reward socially responsible companies by investing in them. Like companies like North Face or Columbia.

13. Use the refrigerator properly. If you lower ambient room temperature, your refrigerator uses less energy.

14.Coffee, milk and sugar, say "no" to individual portions. The extra packaging is a waste and adds to the cost of the product.

15.Use natural paints. Paints are cocktails of chemicals. Colori Eco Paint Boutique in Bucktown sells earth friendly paint.

16. Switch off lights you don't need.

17. Check the energy efficiency rating when you buy household appliances. The City of Chicago is giving away for FREE energy efficient light (CFL) bulbs!

18. Rediscover your grandmother's remedies. Like lemon for copper.Using microfiber cloths eliminates the need for chemicals when cleaning.

19. Drive more slowly. Each 5 mile increase over 60 mph is like paying 10 cents more for gas.

20. Write to manufacturer's urging them to keep GMO's out of animal feeds.

Okay now here is my current list of the week...

Reasons not to go out for a run versus running

1. It is cold when I get out there... Okay I just need to layer more before I go out, it is not like I am living in northern Alaska!

2. My feet hurt when I run. My current companies running shoes really hurt my feet but they are free or highly discounted so that is what I run in. Well..my brother is shipping me a pair of Asics Gel Nimbus. And the other shoe on my list is Sportivas when I cash up a little.

3. My body aches, Well, it aches because I haven't run, I feel so much better when I go out running.

4. I am going to feel all the weight I need to lose still. Well, if I don't go running I stand no chance in getting skinnier.

5.I have to do, the magazine, looking for jobs, cleaning. bills, paperwork.. Well,,, I always feel better when I go out running.

6. It is too dark in the morning. Well, I bought a headlamp.

7. I still have an incredibly hard time getting up early(6am. which I realize is like sleeping in for some ultra runenrs)

8.The bigggest reason for me to run is because I love it and I love the outdoors and it is one of the best things I can do for myself when you are low on funds!!!!!! The outdoors is free to most extents..you just have to be creative in urban settings in how to take advantage of it!!!

Finally, through A Trail Runner's blog he did a run at the Armory in NYC which is my old neighborhood and through that I linked into the NYRRC site and they now have a database from 1987 of their races and I found a record of a lot of my old times......... And I have never been a real runner, I was built like a sherpa which is why I feel so comfortable in the mountains but I did run an 8 min/mile for a 20 mile race which I think is a sign of real fitness and I ran a 7:15/mile for a 5K. For real runners that is not fast but for me that was a real accomplishment. But I was also doing a hardcore speedworkout once a week with Bob Glover and then I was averaging 40 mile weeks which is a walk in the park for ultra people but they were all hard runs. SO I think Nike's old motto was totally worth a gizillion dollars, I just have TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010, Ways to Save the Earth

2010-01-02T12:02:00.004-06:00

I love lists, have I not been more obvious about that fact!! I bought a book awhile ago that I have always treasured, "365 Ways to Save the Earth" by Philippe Bourseiller. It not only contains great ideas but it has beautiful pictures showing how many incredible natural phenomena there are in the world. So I am borrowing from his book and listing his idea a day for January 1 -10.

1.Buy recycled.Picture..sunrise

2.Turn doown your heating by 5 degrees F. Picture..Whale shark, Australia

3.Recycle your Christmas tree (if you bought one, and please never buy the artifical ones. My add)Picture..Bizzard over the inlandsis,continental ice sheet, Greenland.

4.Lobby the right for access to renewble electricity.(I have referenced this in my art piece of pictures of electric poles from all over the planet...my invented word..Electro-globicity) Picture,Aurora borealis Finland

5.Improve the efficiency of your radiators Picture Namib Desert, Namibia

6.Suggest composting at our children's school...Picture Klychuchevskaya volcano, Kamchatka, Russia...(I really want to go to Kamchatka and climb the volcanoes, they are the youngest and most active volcanic area in the world)

7.Reduce the amount of water flowing into your toilet's tank. Picture...Iceberg, Greenland

8.Buy fair-trade products and help combat child labor. Picture,,Lagoons, Baja California, Mexico...Have kayaked near La Paz, beautiful...

9.Make it a rule to buy only organic(or local..my add) of a given product. Picutre..Acacia, Namibia

10. SIng an environmental charter for your favorite leisure activity. Picture...Soft coral, Indonesia...Have been to Bali,,,,loved it....want to go back, there are SO many islands, incredible...

Okay.....that is it for now....part of my procrastination before I head out the door for a quick jog with -7 wind chill. I remind myself it is not like I am living in the Arctic or Antartica, it is only Chicago and the sun is out today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year, Love life, Eat and support local as much as possible and as green as possible and embrace the outdoors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holiday Presents and Book List, I love lists!!

2009-12-11T09:19:00.010-06:00

Okay, I love lists....so my latest lists are great small food gifts to give people, I have to say I love giving presents and then I am a starting a book list.....

Food

1. Olive oil and vinegars from The Olive Tap

2. Spices from the Spice House

3. Cheese, olives, bread, wine from Pastoral Artisan

4. Bottle of wine from LUSH wine and spirits

5. Bottle of Maple syrup, who does not love pancakes and it is really hard to find good maple syrup, from Burton's Maplewood Farm, they can be found at the Green City Market

6. Going to a dinner party? Bring some artisan ice cream from Nicecream

7. Pate de fruits, which are soft sugar candies flavored from local fruits, I consider it healthy candy, handmade

from Flora Confections

8. On the run, need to pickup something, any of Nicole's Crackers will be favorites. I personally like "Oh, for the love of Herb" and for a dessert cracker, "Heaven is Lavender".

9. And of course, salsas, salsas can be used on eggs, to cook with vegetables, as a snack on their own and they are really low in calorie so a food bonus, Tomato Mountain Salsas are my favorite...

10. Want a unique spirit for a conversation starter and a tasty cocktail, try Adam Seger's Hum Spirits, Hibiscus, Cardomom and Ginger

Other ideas:

11. Seedling Fruit incredibly delectable, yummy fruit jams, I would buy every flavor, they are great as a healthy sugar pickmeup, available at my favorite Green City Market!

12. Just found out about Swedish Microfiber cloths that you can use for cleaning with just water, you can throw out all your chemicals...Not a food but something that will help save the earth, available at Colori Eco Boutique of paints and household products that are earth friendly

13. Koval Distillery, any one of their products, Ginger liqueur, Rose hips liqueur, Pear Brandy, the list goes on....

Books

My book list is shorter but will grow over time...

1. Paul Theroux "Ghost Train to the Eastern Star" which I have been told is a nonfiction account of his travel by trains through Central Asia, the "Stans" which for me is an incredibly fascinating, picturesque part of the world

2. Greg Mortenson's new book, "Stones into Schools" about his efforts to promote peace in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

3. "Miracle in the Andes" by Nando Parredo. Nando was the Uruguayan, who after 3 months of being stranded in the Andes, after a plane crash and eating the dead to survive, walked out of the mountains and found help. I was fortunate to meet him, he was a customer at the store and I helped him and he told me about his book. I have always been fascinated by the book, "Alive", it is one of the most incredible survival stories I have ever read. The thing I get drawn to is the inner strength and belief in themselves and their pulling together as a team. Having played on teams for many years, I can tell people who just don't understand the meaning of a team. The thing I love about the mountains is that it is really all about team work, whether you are roped on a glacier or trekking with porters, it is all about working as a member of a group. This story is not a story it really happened and I guess the amazing thing about it is the human spirit and humaness which is what this story is about. Of all the people I have encountered at the store, I have to say, meeting Nando for me was probably the most memorable.

That is my book list so far and my trip list is to go on the Afghan trip with Wild Frontiers.....I really believe in promoting peace through tourism and grassroots dipolmacy. These challenged countries like Afghanistan and Pakistan have peaceful and incredibly historic, and beautiful areas, coincentally, some of the largest mountain ranges in the world run through them. And, the foods you come across are all organic and local because the people have no other choice the world ofpackaged goods hasn't really hit them. Here is my friend Ade's video on his trip to Afghanistan and here is my slide show of my trip to Pakistan, Just have to figure out how to fund it and how to get back on a sustainable financial footing to do this, want to go to Libya, Iran and Afghanistan to name a few.

Getting the New Year's List Ready

2009-12-02T08:45:00.007-06:00

Okay, it is that time to get my To Do list for 2010, which I can't believe!!!

The trip I would love to go on, peace exists in this video abut my friend Ade's trip last summer to Afghanistan...The book that is a must read, Stones into Schools by Greg Mortenson which I have not read but I am going out and buying today. I read Three Cups of Tea which takes place in and around the Baltoro Glacier but is all about the hospitality of the Pakistani people. But the video and the book is what adventure is really about but adventure in a grass roots diplomacy type of way, changing the world through peaceful means.

At the store we mostly sell coats so people will be warm living in Chicago but what I really love is encouraging people to travel and see the world. Traveling, trekking and climbing I think changes the way people think for the better. And it shows you what little some people have in parts of the world and what little it takes to make them happy and how much we have here in the United States to be thankful for!!!!

1) Finish 2 ultras at least, get my mileage up to at least 40 week

2)Ski again

3)Hike again

4)Make mysore part of my regular weekly schedule, I really feel a difference if I am not practicing yoga.

5)A job where I work with bright, friendly, energetic people and in an environment where I thrive and am stimulated and a company that encourages the best out of people.

6) I am avoiding or ignoring people who are surly, sullen, dramatic, controlling, negative, fault finding and insecure,bullies, drama queens, mean people...life is too short to get trapped in their view of things and it is not healthy, you know who you are!!!!

7) Put a plan in place to move to the mountains, enough already......

8)Continue to streamline my food, make an effort to juice ideally daily, spinach or arugula daily, I just realize I feel much better and don't get sick when I am eating green things and beets, carrots regularly...

9)Work on drinking more water...this is very hard for me to do

10)Tea before I go to bed...I really need to get in the tea habit

11)ideally become an age group runner again...do speed work once a week, really start training, run with the Chicago Ultrarunners

12)Complete short story on Jagged Edge..

13)Continue through the magazine and other venues to promote healthy foods, and local restaurants and businesses that have great products and use local produce...you don't have to be less active as you age...

14)Have a lot more fun(which means avoiding the negative people) and focus on the humane people

Cook Now

2009-11-10T10:35:00.006-06:00

Okay, if I am not running, working, practicing yoga, then I am cooking, eating or drinking among other things. I created a new bookmark on my Bookmarks Bar Called COOKNOW.

The 2 recipes on my hit list 1)Silver Palate Sausage and Cornbread stuffing

2) Brussel Sprouts with Black Bean Sauce and Bacon

Addition:The CookNow bookmark list continues to grow, Mushroom Risotto does not sound that hard to make and sounds really yummy, and of course I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE mushrooms!!!Just read a recipe for Ricotta Pancakes where you separate the eggs and whip the whites. I totally forgot about the whipping of the whites, it makes the pancakes even fluffier. And for me, the excellent cook in my head and the erratic cook in reality, pancakes are so forgiving and easy, anyone can make pancakes they are that easy and they taste so good and they are great fuel. My friend Joe M., Mr. Amazing Runner used to always eat these to fuel up for long races....T

I thought the Brussel Sprouts(for me, I need a good veggie) and the stuffing(for them, who does not like stuffing?) might be good "bring" dishes for an Potluck Thanksgiving meal I am going to, I am not a fan of traditional thanksgiving fare or really of the whole thing of a huge, meal of turkey, potatoes, etc....But I am testing them out this weekend....

In the old days, my Thanksgiving schedule was, run the Turkey Trot, then fly to Salt Lake and ski at Snowbird for the weekend...I do miss those days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I firmly believe those days will come again!!!

Finally, I have encountered some very cool people and I have come across sullen and surly people what I have to remember is that although it is really unpleasant to be around the sullen and surly people my best bet is to just ignore them and accept that that is the way they are, if they choose to throw off that energy that is their business and my business is to just ignore it and them.....My best bet is to focus on the people that are pretty amazing like Nicole Bergere who is running a cracker company at the age of 84, and growing the company, I find that really motivating, and all my yoga friends who are such positive forces and my bosses at EC who go into the pretty amazing camp!!!!!! So the people I encounter who are into the aggressive, negative reinforcement, "I'm just playing with you" meanness, the sullenness and surliness, I just have to have very strong boundaries, ignore it and focus on the cool people like Nicole......she is definitely a steel magnolia....

And I have to be thankful for the people who reach out and do nice things, like organizing a T-giving potluck and being inclusive rather than exclusive, there are nice, great people out there and to come full circle great foods!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So for T-giving I have to remember it is my choice to seek out wheat grass, vegetables, healthy things so I have to remember to focus on the cool, amazing people and just ignore the negative people and not let negative reinforcement, attitudes get me down!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao...............

Just Train, Just Run, Confidence

2009-11-03T15:29:00.004-06:00

I forgot about this gadget on the web, made this wordle a year ago but it still holds true....

Just Train, Just Run, Confidence

None of which I did today..............ugh......

But tomorrow is another day to try again.

WHen Worlds Collide

2009-10-26T16:43:00.003-05:00

I always loved the Seinfeld episode that had George lamenting about his worlds colliding. He didn't want his girlfriend who knew "girlfriend George" to meet "baseball George and his friends", i have the names wrong, but basically George was freaking out that his girlfriend was learning to much about the "other Georges". George said something to Jerry along the lines of "Jerry, She can't meet XXXX, that would be like worlds colliding".

I love it when my worlds collide. The latest write-up on Serious Eats on the preview to Baconfest that was held last weekend (I stupidly did not sign up for it)...Explained how the guys that founded Baconfest got the idea supposedly after seeing a play by the Neofuturists. I love it when plays and food collide. Now all I need is for trail running, traveling, food, writing, plays and money to collide!!!!!!! I really was stupid not signing up to go to the Baconfest event, it sounds like it was a very cool thing and I love my wheat grass, arugula, beets and goat cheese but who does not love pork belly???? It is all portions and appreciation of what is in front of you......

Ciao(no food pun intended or intended)

Pho to Go....

2009-10-21T18:07:00.008-05:00

I've been to Hanoi and went hiking in the Sapa Region and kayaking on Halong bay. I loved Vietnam, it's cuisine is unbelievable yummy, a marriage of everything French and everything Vietnamese, lemon grass, dumplings, beef broth, bean sprouts and butter what a combination. My favorite countries to travel in are ones with great cuisine histories and great places to climb, trek and generally have fun in the outdoors like Morocco, all the wild mint in the mountains and great oranges and tomatoes, central China/Asia all the great noodle, egg plant and lamb dishes, I lived on noodles in Xinjiang province and I lived on saki, beer,gyoza and yasai itame in Niigata prefecture when I went to IUJ, of course biking through Burgundy, the Dordogne and all the great condiments I bought along the way, all the oils, vinegars and salts and of course foie gras.

So..given my lack of traveling and depression from all the lack of in my life, lack of mountains, skiing, hiking, I am going to start adding and make a list of local restaurants I want to check out. Chicago has a great Vietnamese community in the Argyle area so I am going to try either Tank Noodles or Pho777 for their Pho. I haven't quiet decided which one but Pho is one of those absolutely, amazing comfort foods. When I went to business school at NYU in NYC, I used to walk through China town with my friend Lili who is now married, twin boys and living in Hong Kong. We used to stop at a tiny little shop for $3 Pho, along with the cheap designer bag place, Fulton Street felt like Hong Kong and they would throw tons of bean sprouts on top of the bowl.

So my 2 things I am going to do, get up at 5am and run for an hour and I am going to try one of the cheap Pho places. It is really easy to bike around Chicago, since I have no money to ski or travel I might as well get as thin and fit as I can and eat, great, cheap food!!! Mysore is going to get in the lineup soon to.

I may be incredibly depressed but I still have to do things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Depression sucks, people who don't get it are so lucky!!!!!!! I am going to focus on enjoying the tiny, cool, cheap things that you can do in Chi-town and biking and running all over the place which is free too!!!

40 something....

2009-10-19T20:42:00.005-05:00

I have decided when you turn 40 you can go 1 in 2 directions, getting less fit or getting really fit. I have decided there is no in between for some reason. Well. I have made the mental and spiritual commitment to get fitter. I am the first one, to love to get really drunk, go crazy. lose oneself. However, there comes a point where I have to place my priorities. Too much of the world. wants to take the easy route, the blue pill world, the comforting one as we age. but you know, I SAY NO TO THAT!!! I LOVE BEING PHYSICAL, I love participating, I am totally in the wrong place, enough with working in a store that sells the dream of skiing and adventure. I have to figure out how to ski every day, trail run in the summers, travel to NYC and Paris and financially sustain myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is too short to live any other way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am determined to be strong, fit and independent and live in the mountains but have culture around me and great chefs, I believe it is possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bu

My Food Beliefs

2009-10-11T14:52:00.007-05:00

Michael Pollan outlined his Rules to Eat By in the NYT, then he asked for reader input on their food rules to which I responded as well. He posted his top 20 favorite food rules. Well, in my comment I stated that I don't really believe in rules, I am one of those rules need to be applied not obeyed and rules can always be broken kind of person, don't get me going on Cheney and Bush and their application of that belief...

SO instead of my top 20 food rules, I thought I would make a list since I love lists, of my top 20 food beliefs...

1. Butter is not bad for you. There is a reason French Techniques were the basis of American cooking for a long time and the reason French food tastes good. (Thank you Peter Kump wherever you are up there!) I really love Farmer's summer butter from the GCM.

2. I don't believe in "Supermarkets" but I believe in "Super Farmers".

3. A triple shot of Tinygreens wheat grass every week is one of the best things I can do to keep myself healthy, I truly think WG is a miracle substance(but yes, the taste takes getting used to!!!!!) For first timers, a cider chaser helps!!!

4. I always try to buy as high quality ingredients as my pocketbook allows and mostly from the GCM or MCA markets. Then I don't have to be a good cook, the ingredients will speak for themselves.

5. I stay on an even keel mentally if I have a daily helping of spinach or arugula, I just feel so much better, I notice a difference the next day.

6. I avoid rice at all costs, except Carrie Nahabedian's risotto. I am just not a rice person.

7. I avoid thick slabs of red meat, and most steak houses although who doesn't love Gibson's and the people who run it?

8. However, I accept that I need to eat meat every now and then, when I do I try to know where it came from.

9. I would rather spend $40 at a restaurant that I know sources from local farmers and is focused on sustainable ingredients than pay $30 because it is cheaper. Usually, it is the reverse, "the restaurant that is convenient or easy or the place of the moment" ends up being more than the restaurant that is sourcing sustainably.

10.I try to avoid all large grocery stores, how can things be fresh if they are so large? And I wish the Green Grocer was closer to where I live.

11. I truly believe that if people ate more fresh, local produce including meats, they would think differently and feel better and Obama would definitely get re-elected!!!

12. I truly believe that if more of the population supported local community gardens and ate from those gardens, and people stayed away from packaged goods, the nation's healthcare bill would be reduced.

13. I truly believe that the American healthcare system is based on fixing things rather than prevention. If people did little things, like drink more water, buy one vegetable from a local farmers market, and cooked and ate it, did a little Pilates or Yoga even once a week, the healthcare bill would go down.

14. It truly pays to look at where the chef is sourcing their produce from and support chefs that care about quality, that support farmers and that support sustainable seafood and artisanal meat products.

15. There is a reason that food at quality restaurants costs what it does. If people realized all the prep work, little techniques that you wouldn't think much of sometimes but as a whole adds up to a really tasty product and if they realized what the staff gets paid, maybe people would go out to restaurants more because they would realize it really is a bargain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Farmers and chefs cannot charge enough to make up for all the time and effort that goes into their end product.

16. If everyone picked up one piece of trash from the ground that wasn't theirs the world would be a cleaner place.

17.A commenter to Pollan's rules said it perfectly, stop OBSESSING and EAT the damn cupcake, obsessing over food is a waste of energy.

18. There is nothing wrong with desserts or bread, just don't eat the entire cake at one sitting.

19. I am truly lucky to live in Chicago with access to one very amazing farmer's market, the Green City Market, which is a wonder of Chicago and to all the farmers that surround us from Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan and Indiana!

20.I am lucky to live in a city with so many amazing and talented chefs who can source pretty cool produce, I just wish I had the funding to eat more often and support all those chefs by dining at their restaurants!!!!!!!!

21. Sorry I had to add this one, when you are 5' 2" it helps to focus on running ultramarathons when you love great food and are a serious eater like me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22.Sorry one more just came to me, people who buy food because it is cheap and make decisions on price, look at the big picture, look at healthcare and the healthcare crisis and the nation's health as a whole, the population saved money in the short term by buying cheap packaged goods items from large supermarkets and look where we are now!!!!! Kind of like robbing Peter to pay Paul, we saved money in the short term and look at the nations' health in the long term....And then all people do is want to be fixed!!!!!!!! Which is one reason contributing to most (not all)of American medical care's focus on fixing and alleviating symptoms rather than a focus on preventing the problem to begin with and healing and sending the patient on a different health path.

A Birthday Come and Gone...

2009-09-20T11:21:00.005-05:00

It was my birthday on Thursday, September 17th. I have had some pretty cool birthdays, like having porters make me a cake at base camp at 17,000 ft, in Ladakh, Kashmir, India or having a birthday cake with candles near Mazar China in an oasis town in Xinjiang Province in Northwestern China, or I celebrated in Tokyo listening to one of the Beatles tribute bands in Roppongi and in the Dordogne one year I stayed at a medieval castle on a bike tour, great wine and foie gras is always a great to celebrate birthdays!!! And when I lived in New York, I celebrated at the original Daniel, and Le Bernardin as well. SO I can't complain, I have had some cool birthdays, this was definitely not one of them but I heard from some of my fantastic, supportive friends and that means a lot!!!!!!! However, I did go to an amazing dinner in the Hague this past June for my old college roommate's birthday that her husband threw for her, and that dinner party was pretty amazing,and Veuve Cliquot and a Nuits St Georges Premier Cru certainly helped as well.

I have just decided that my goal now is to get as fit this year as I possibly can! I am disappointed that I am not ready to run an ultra right this minute and my hamstring tendon injury has hampered yoga lately. But of all things, people cannot take away health and fitness from you, you take it away from yourself. My friend Sue is varies between a size 2 and a size 4, and most of the skinny yogini women are between size 2 and size 4's. I am completely at peace that I just will never be one. But if I can stay a size 6 then I feel that is a reasonable goal. SO this year I am trying to make reasonable and attainable goals. In ashtanga, I would love to finally break through my shoulders and be able to actually clasp my hands in some of the Marich binds, I think that is reasonable, I was born with squirrel arms not swan arms, what can I say, so it means getting a little leaner to get that extra little inch in order to clasp my hands. And I want to some how put together a sustainable financial life that I am at peace with and a plan to move to Aspen and finally put to rest some of the remaining family issues.

I guess what it boils down to is life is short and you have to go out and live it!!!!! Birthdays are always a reminder of that and a reminder of how lucky I am to have so many great friends in my life and my brother Jin gave me a singing Mr. Wolf doll. To keep us out of the attic and potentially falling through holes in it, my mother told us that a wolf lived in the attic, so I believed up and until I was about 8 or 9 that Mr. Wolf lived in the attic and I was Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween for many years, so my brother gave me a singing Wolf doll. He sings "Hey Little Red Riding Hood, You sure are looking good, your everything a big bad wolf could want. by Sam the Sham and the Pharouhs. So that definitely made me laugh!!!!....

Mistakes Were Made Red Orchid Theater Review and the Badwater Race

2009-09-10T09:52:00.019-05:00

I saw an amazingly well written play last night that I loved because it is full of satire and is a play on plays and theater, Mistakes Were Made, that is basically a one man play starring Michael Shannon. with Mierka Girten as the voice behind the curtain and the counterpoint to Felix(Shannon). I love Red Orchid theater because of the space. I LOVE this space!!!!! It is such a huge luxury to watch such a high quality production in such an intimate space!!!!!!!!!! The play is all about a guy on a telephone for 90 minutes, sounds very boring, right?? Well, my attention was captivated the entire time. Michael Shannon just gives his all in the performance. He has harnessed a mixture of Estelle, Joey's agent in Seinfeld, every used car salesman you have ever met and every jeweler in the Diamond district in New York. Shannon and Craig Wright, the playwright, must have had fun creating this character based on some of their experiences with producers in Hollywood and the compromises they have seen made and deals made with the devil. Now, having been in sales for so many years, and having lived in New York, the dialogue made me laugh, it was corny and true at the same time!!! But his performance was like running a half marathon but instead of a race a month, he will be performing this 3-4 times a week...how he remembers all those lines, how he keeps a boundary between himself and the character while the play is running, all that is pretty mentally, spiritually and physically intense!!! But as his character makes mention of in the play, I think it is Michael Shannon's ode and gift to Red Orchid to bring attention and money to a very cool theater group that goes at the art in a very authentic and joyful way!!! But I think a playing a part like Felix Artifax takes a digging deep and persevering and focus the way an endurance race does. I will say the play touched on some themes that I have been exploring in the story I have been writing, The Jagged Edge, How people layer their personalities in life. And the ability of the observer to distinguish what is genuine sentiment and what is schlock. How people protect themselves with layers of different personas. You could take the character of Artifax and put him on a bond trading desk and it would be the same thing, to me that was what was funny about watching the play, I have seen the same things played out already. Shannon takes the character of Artifax, and moves from one layer to the next ultimately into the inner layers of Artifax's personality and what it is like when you go that deep which is why I think the role is a very intense, demanding one to play.

And I just came back from a great jog to Olive park and the thought occurred to me, only at Red Orchid and the intimacy of the set can a pet fish be a co-star of the play. The fish is both schlocky and effective. I think most people find pets are the ones we can be most honest to and speak from our innermost layer, pets represent unconditional love and we reciprocate to them. I think ideally we would like this to happen in human relationships but 99.99999% of the time it doesn't. So the fish and I am probably reading too many metaphors into it, but the fish rises to the surface of the aquarium and draws out the innermost Felix. I thought the fish was a very clever and entertaining role but as I said, only at Red Orchid, I just think it would not work on a bigger set.

Okay, the other thought I had, running, the sun and yoga always fills me with thoughts, what can I say, and a sunny day in Chicago can be such a rare thing it always make me happy! The other thought I had about MWM is that it had a few awkward silences. Now for me, not being educated or trained as an actor, and with all the underlying insecurity I have, my first thought was, "What cohonas this guy has" to hold a silence for so long on the stage when it is only you. I think many actors would start talking too soon to fill the silence. And there is a very fine line between not long enough and too long and I think as the play progresses they will fiddle with these. But the silences are the first indication that there is more too Felix than just a used car salesman, there are conversations going on in his head. This is another theme I have been playing around with in the Jagged Edge, the internal conversations we have with ourselves, so I think these silences are a tool to make us realize there IS MORE going on that just what we hear and see. It shows Felix's depth of character. The final touch I really liked was the set, I always love sets because good sets give hints of the characters and the narratives that are going to happen. It just takes paying attention to detail and the detail I liked in this set was the child's drawings because seeing the drawings and paying attention to the dialogue you realize Felix made mistakes that resulted in his child's death that he has still not quite forgiven himself for and that he is seeking forgiveness from his wife so that he can forgive himself.

So, my To DO today is mailing off the 25 pages of the Introduction and Chapter 1 of the Jagged Edge with an outline of the rest of the Chapters to an agent who had sent me a nice letter of rejection when I sent out the stories in my first idea, The Middle of the Stans.

Okay, here is CNN's footage of the Badwater race, I don't really have a very strong desire to do this particular race, I would rather focus, think of the Hardrock or the Trans Rockies, but the thing I love about the internet and web is that I can see people who are actually accomplishing these things and doing these things as compared to so many people I encounter in my day to day life in Chicago and at the store, who just don't have the spiritual connection to want to do these things and are just very sedentary, I just can't stand sedentary. I am so appreciated each and every day that I have the Lake out my front door and that I can run, even though my ankle and hamstring hurt at the moment, so many people I encounter on a day to day basis in Chicago think they are too old or it is their knees or their back or tis hurts or it is too dangerous to bike or this or that. I LOVE the web to show me people who say I CAN!!!!!!!!!! I agree with the Brazilian guy who is quoted in the film, for me so much of my love of trekking and remote places and the aspiration to finish the Hardrock race is the sense of a very deep spiritual connection to the earth.

On my run yesterday I decided, that rather than get depressed over how I have these aspirations but have not achieved them I should be happy that I have them.THere are so many people that don't know what to do with themselves and get bored over life and maybe I haven't run the Hardrock or published a book or written a play, half the battle is the will to want to!!!! I have to be happy that I have that will!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dreaming and Healing

2009-08-28T10:39:00.007-05:00

Okay, I have been totally dreaming about skiing, hiking, trekking, and mountain biking again. A friend from the store took this pic awhile ago, yes, there have been times where I have actually had fun there although this friend just moved to New York, so the nice people there are fewer and fewer and it is getting to be just the entrenched mean people. SO this is me playing make-believe I am in the Wakkhan which looks like a totally cool place, my friend Ades took all these great pics!!!!! So Wakkhan is I think on the top of my list now for if I ever have money again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the slide show from Mongolia with my summiting Mt. Huiten still exists, yes that is me with the White Helmet on, and I am at the front of the table with a Jackson Hole headband on and on the rocks with blue pants on and my Pakistan movie is still on YouTube, but will I ever be able to go to the Wakkhan or Uganda and climb the Mountains of the Moon and see the gorillas....there is so much to see in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I am still healing from my hamstring tendon injury. I am used to sore, but(no pun intended if u get what I mean..) this was REALLY sore, so I am going out for a 45 minute easy jog but I have stayed away from ashtanga which completely affects how I feel and think. But there is not much to do sometimes but let your body heal and I have to just respect that no matter how hard it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I am beginning to wonder if we have ever had a summer here in Chicago although what I suspect is that we are going to have some beautiful days in September and October. Remember the Chicago marathon of a few years ago and people dying of heat exhaustion??

And I went to a great event this week that Slow Food sponsored at the Daley Plaza, an Eat-In to support the Child Nutrition Act, then coincidentally they were running an interview on TV by Charlie Rose of Ferran Adria and Joses Andres and Adria was talking about the importance of the quality of food children eat. But I am always in awe of a lot of the people who were there because they are dedicated to the cause not to the money that they made or the publicity. And I am in awe of them because I love money, not 100%, but I do like some of the creature comforts, and the money to go skiing, and traveling and eating at great restaurants!!!!!!

And I just always am so appreciative of blue skies in Chicago, this is another grey, yucky day.....I am dreaming of blue skies as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aspiring and Doing

2009-08-15T10:22:00.008-05:00

After having watched this video, and having watched this video, and read Olga's recap of her finish, . I aspire and would love to finish the Hardrock 100. It is a 100 mile race through the San Juan mountains. I love Telluride, one of my favorite hikes in the universe so far is the Sneffels Highline trail at the height of wild flower season, which is usually late July and early August where the flowers grow taller than me, (5ft.2"). I have climbed Wilson Peak and Mount Sneffels and mountain biked from Telluride to Moab. I just love the mountains out there and for some reason I just really aspire to finishing this race but I am SO FAR from even attempting it. I am signed up to run a 50 mile race in mid-Octber and right now I have a sore upper hamstring tendon in my left leg which is driving me buggy and even if I was perfectly healthy I have not been putting much mileage in. I find it hard to get out and even get an hour run done because I have gotten really bored running on the Lakefront, I would love to figure out somehow how to move myself and my life to Aspen or Telluride but I just cannot figure out how.

I aspire to finishing my story on the Jagged Edge which I have about 20 pages written right now of an essay rather than a story, I have the story mapped out somewhat but no ending.

I aspire to making it to Mysore at 7 in the morning 2 days a week but right now my hamstring makes forward bends a bit painful which stinks!!!!

But aspiring and doing are 2 completely different things. I so admire the farmers I come into contact with, the chefs, the activists who are so focused and completely immersed in their passion for a specific thing!!! I came across this great video on Carrie from Naha and Sarah from Prairie Grass, on their trip to Alaska. They are totally focused on their businesses, the authenticity of what they do and making a difference and inspiring change. Here is one on activist Debbie Hillman of Evanston.

I just dream of running through the mountains and traveling more to hike over remote mountain passes in other parts of the world, ike the Pamirs, like the Tien Shan, like the remote valleys in Nepal. I once did actually climb, although hard for me to believe at the moment, click here, to see a slide show of my trip to Mongolia and I am the one in blue with the white helmet on who is summiting and then sitting at the summit. I actually once did do things!!!!

I have been trying to ice my hamstring, layoff running and yoga for a few days but it stinks, because no yoga and no running puts me in a very bad mood, I think I was some kind of goat in a previous life and I am so much happier outside all the time and I am happier doing cartwheels and backbends and backward rolls....WIth the airshow this weekend the lake water is not great for swimming because there are a lot of boats in the water which means more gasoline, trash, etc and so far the noise has not been too bad but the air show only reminds me of war, destruction and death.

Thank goodness for the webs and blogs, they are comforting to me because when I feel I am a fish out of water living in the city rather than the mountains and feeling so unconventional when I live in a rather conventional, conservative city, I can read about people that are DOING the things that I want to do and I can get inspired by the people around me like the chefs and farmers and activists who are doing what THEY want to do.

I used to finish my poetry with a line, "I wish someone had the answer" and I guess I still kind of wish that......

I Got It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-26T09:47:00.002-05:00

I finally have the Primary Series memorized. I totally spaced out in my Mysore class last Thursday morning and messed up on the sequence. I did not bring my cheat sheet and I got tired and just forgot. But sometimes when we mess up we learn and I think I now know the Series, yeah!!!!!! At least the beginner version of the Series, I don't pretend to KNOW it but I at least know what I am suppose to be attempting at my level. THis is a MAJOR yoga breakthrough for me. The other break through occurred when I basically had a private lesson with Bill last week because I was the only one who showed up for class. I got so many insights into the poses and practice, it was great!!!! And I initially felt bad for Bill that he was stuck with only me but he was very patient and encouraging and like Paul Weitz maintains a sense of humor about it.

I continue to take Bill Shapleigh's lead class at Yogaview on Tuesday night and I am trying to get to 1 or 2 mysore classes a week or take Daylene Christensen's class at Moksha. As with most activities that require skill, the more I know the more I realize what I don't know. But that is okay, it just adds dimension to the practice and even though I am repeating the same postures over and over, they are different every time I attempt them. SO anyone who says they get bored doing the same sequence of postures just does not get IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I am getting close to getting a new Iphone, in the old days I would just have gotten one no problem because I had the dollars but in this time of little cash I just can't go out and spend $200, so I am continuing to try to carve our a financially sustainable life but one where I don't have to go into too corporatey a job. That is just not me anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holland!!!

2009-06-13T11:46:00.003-05:00

I had a quick trip to Holland to celebrate a surprise birthday party for an old college roommate. It was sooooooooo great to see such a loving family, a beautiful house, tons of flowers, although I did not wear a tulip skirt to the party!!! I forgot how much I love Europe, traveling, how I am much more comfortable outside of the US than in the US. That one of the things I actually like about working at the retail store that I do, is that I meet people from all over the world!!!! I love attempting to speak different languages. I find traveling so easy. The wines that my friend's husband chose were wonderful, a great Nuits Saint Georges, I have bicycled through Burgundy and have tasted some amazing grand crus, and after drinking my great value less than 10$ a bottle every day wine, it was luxurious to drink the Burgundy. Lots of cheese, herring and strawberries. The entire trip was very affirming and I have to say I loved traveling business on KLM on the way over.....

I have not been very inspired to blog much lately, just trying to keep my head above water financially and just mad about the world. Why do so many jobs that don't do much to help society pay so much and the jobs that actually help people pay so little??????????????? I am just having a very hard time coming to terms with the two. Take health, if people actually paid attention to what they eat, didn't rush around so much, actually took time to do yoga, pilates, anything where you learn how to breath correctly and reset your spine, walked and bicycled more rather than drive and sit in cars, everyone's health would be a lot better. But the justification is that they are too busy, that they are trying to earn a living and that they just don't have time or the money to do the things that would actually help them feel better. Everyone has a choice and so much of American society is work, work, rush, rush and quite frankly, everyone has a choice not to rush. When friends tell me that they are too busy, I just think it is a bunch of baloney, everyone is as busy as they allow themselves to be, you prioritize what you prioritize that is it..........................Maybe I have been eating too many green things..................

Are Morning People Born or Made?

2009-06-04T13:41:00.005-05:00

Are morning people born or made? That is the question. I finally had my future self voice win out over my waking up voice today and I got out of the house by 6:15, on to the bike path by 6:25 and I even stopped to pet a German Short Hair Pointer that was being walked on Fullerton by the Lakefront and then to my second mysore class of my life by 7:05am. I was done with the Primary Series by 8:30, stopped at Vanille Patisserie for an almond croissant and coffee as my reward and got to a meeting at 9:30.

But as I biked along the Lakefront I looked at all the people jogging and they were all thin and fit. There were none of my people there. My usual battle in the morning is that my waking self changes my mind for me and decides that being ensconced in my comfortable bed is far gentler than getting up any earlier than 8:15. My waking self likes to wake up leisurely and gently because I had so many years of literally, rolling out of bed, barely getting out of the house and barely getting to my desk by 7:30 and feeling horrible and feeling tired and feeling fat and feeling not fit and being unhappy that I was there so I would load up on lattes to get myself going and the whole day was about comforting myself with food.

On a trek, I found it much easier to rise early because usually the porters were up and their voices waked me up, they would bring coffee to my tent and the sun would be out and it was a nice way to get up. Getting up at 3 or 4 on summit days was a pain in the butt, however, once I was out I almost felt like I was sleep walking until about 7:30 or 8 when my whole self would finally wake up. Is it coded into our DNA what time we wake up.

I had a great yoga class, Bill gave me some great adjustments and yet again I found my body slowly inching into positions it had not been in before. And I have to say I was really happy practicing yoga with the sun streaming in on me. I was joyful and happy!!!!!!!!!!!

As I biked on my way to yoga, I decided I am going to be much more compassionate when I see people jogging/running late morning or middle of the day on a Saturday. That was me a lot of the time, I had the record for being the fittest for how unfit I looked.

SO today the sun shined and I was able to do it and I decided that on the whole it is coded into our DNA in terms of how we arise in the morning but as I learned from my dog Sophie, an old dog can learn new tricks. And since I am not that old yet, I have no excuse, so I can learn new things and at least once a week get myslef in gear and out of the house early.

Asparagus Galore

2009-05-28T09:14:00.005-05:00

Well, I have been having a mini asparagus fest......I have found that the fresh, thin asparagus I buy at the farmer's market doesn't need to be cooked. Once I peel it and take off the "warts", it is juicy enough to be served as is. So I have been having asparagus salad, snacking on asparagus, it is amazing how fresh asparagus has such flavor and particularly the thin stalks are so tender, they are totally different from the thick stalks that I find at the supermarkets and which I never buy. HOWEVER, I experienced a phenomenon from eating asparagus and that is, it sounds disgusting, but after mother nature's call in the bathroom there was a horrible smell. I had just cleaned my tub and the bathroom with comet, etc, so I thought there must be something rotten in the tub drain. The smell was like rotten eggs. Then of course, I let my fingers do the walking and googled asparagus and found out that this smell is common and is an indicator that I have an enzyme that breaks down asparagus and causes this horrible smell. At least it is a sign that my kidneys are working!!! Then I found that it was referenced in an Austin Powers movie, where he eats asparagus, pees and scares the villain away. Anyways, I thought I was going crazy and when I found so many references on the web to this phenomenon about asparagus it made me laugh!!!! But I have to say, I had a green fest yesterday, a triple dose of wheat grass at the Green City Market, raw asparagus salad when I got home and then sauteed spinach for dinner and I feel great today...it is amazing how green things make me feel so much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought it was my getting to ashtanga class the other night or maybe it was both.....

Yeah Spring, yeah summer.............

TIme Flies

2009-05-23T12:37:00.002-05:00

Wow, already Saturday May 23.....have not been terribly inspired to blog, since my Iphone passed have not been taking any pics, will return to blogging when my creative energies recharge(no pun intended)......The job situation has had me very downcast...so all my energy has been going to keeping my spirits up....and I can't believe it is Memorial Day!!!!!!

I will say, I am committing to writing 1 page a day of the Jagged Edge, not 2 or 3, just one. I have to get on auto pilot in some areas, writing, running and biking to yoga. 3 very simple things that are for some reason for me incredibly hard to execute. My friend Ades has pictures up on Facebook of all his recent trips he has lead. I am very downcast over no treks for me, I could keep going on all the things I am upset about.....

Hopefully I will figure out how to get a new Iphone, I can't rob a bank, etc.....I am just caught up in ennui, how screwed up the world is, Wall Street and what a sham it is. how pay is totally screwed up and mad at myself that I like money and what it brings....I like green things, wheat grass, asparagus, money, spinach, arugula, money, trees, flowers, money...I just have to put my energies in a productive, functional, direction to continue to create abundance in my life.....at the moment though I feel like I am caught in a rip tide....

Mysore, SUCCESS!!!

2009-05-09T12:03:00.006-05:00

I completed my first Mysore class today. I have intended to go to a class for years. Class is somewhat of an oxymoron, because it isn't a class, you/I practice on my own, at my own speed without any instruction. The biggest reason I had not gone to a Mysore class is that I was worried I would not remember all of the Primary Series poses, being the obsessive type, I did not want to go to class unless I completed the WHOLE thing!!! Friends from my weekly class at Yoga view had encouraged me to go Suddha Weixler's class at 8am at Chicago Yoga Center. The next excuse I created is that Suddha is a very high level, senior teacher who has been taught directly by Sri Pattabhi Jois, who introduced ashtanga yoga to the world outside India, so I am such a beginner at the Primary series that I thought I would embarrass myself, and feel foolish there.

In yoga classes it is very easy to get caught up in body image issues but at the same time it is great because it is a perfect environment to work on those issues. But for me, to go to a new place brings back all the thoughts that I have worked so hard to get rid of and I totally forget about self acceptance.

But I am so happy, I did it!!!!!!!!!!! I created a few poses along the way and I decided there is a reason the Hindus did not create a squirrel god because squirrels are not very graceful creatures doing yoga. I think I invented a pose though, squirrel pose. I was born with squirrel arms. Great for climbing and scrambling up mountains and hillsides but not great for graceful yoga poses or binds. Why is it that sometimes the most knowledgeable or experienced people are sometimes the most humble. Suddha was really helpful, and encouraging. I sometimes feel like an ashtanga yoga flunkie but he was very accepting and very unassuming but I could tell off the bat, very wise..............

Went to the Green City Market, have asparagus galore which is my VOTW(vegetable of the week)!!!!!! Learned about a new mushroom, a morel, that is my new SOTW(Shroom of the week). But feels like Fall in Chicago today and for a final random thought, I am really considering replacing my Iphone because I just really totally miss it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Made asparagus soup last night, and also blanched some asparagus for asparagus, arugula, mushroom and parmesan salad that I'll dress with a vinaigrette.....yeah!!!!!!!!!! green things...These will be my lunch and dinner that maybe I'll make a popover to have with.

Skiing, Mysore and Asparagus

2009-05-02T09:38:00.007-05:00

I have still been in mourning over my Iphone, life has definitely not been the same. Also, most people have fantasies about............,I have been dreaming about skiing in Alaska or I'll take Snowbird or Aspen and climbing the Ramdung and Parchemo peaks in Nepal with Ade Summers as my guide, or going to Africa again and this time to Ethiopia or Uganda. I would so love to be going on a mountain trek somewhere..TOMMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, I have decided that I am finally committing to Mysore practice with Bill Shapleigh at Yogaview....given my tendency towards perfectionism, I have been intimidated to go because I still don't have every posture memorized. However, I FEEL so much better after ashtanga that I realize I HAVE to go. So I am now going to practice the full series 3x a week and in the morning which breaks all slacker barriers for me. At least for the month of May!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And today is a great day because it is Green Market foraging and time for asparagus, which after I finally caught on, in a class by Roger Herring of Socca, that if you peel the asparagus, you don't have to cook it much and it tastes soooooooo great, May will be asparagus month!!!!!!!!! I have a great simple recipe from Roger's class, of chicken, asparagus and arugula salad with a very basic balsamic vinaigrette that I can eat 24/7, a great puree from Michael Ruhlman's blog, and I'll see what idea's Heidi offers.

I am focusing on green things, asparagus, money, I'll check if peas are up yet, money, and will be grateful all the time that I can bike around everywhere and run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet another random meandering from JB........

I Miss My Iphone!!!!

2009-04-27T09:09:00.000-05:00

My Iphone got wet accidentally and it died. RIP I really miss it, I used it for an alarm clock, I had it set to waking up to a barking dog, I took ad hoc pictures with it, I of course checked my email and it made phone calls so easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $400 to replace it which I don't have......until I get more sustainable employment.... ugggghhhhhhhhh

Someday, Soon.....

2009-04-21T14:59:00.000-05:00

Mountains, Aspen, Telluride, Crested Butte, skiing, Chugach, hiking, wild flowers, 10,000+ feet, Nepal, Kazakhstan, gorillas, Uganda, Ethiopia, Paris, El Bulli, Julien Farel Hair Salon, botox, new clothes...all the things I would love to do, some sooner than others if I had the funding, some contradictory relative to my value of sustainability, but I did live in Manhattan on the upper east side for years what can I say?? I say my prayers, keep trying to ferret my way into a new job that allows me to be sustainable financially.....The End...

P.S. I REALLY, REALLY miss my Iphone, it died due to water(not a very much either)....Apple is a brand, niche, marketing, technology wizard....................

Happy Easter..........

2009-04-12T12:03:00.000-05:00

Well, I am procrastinating again before I go out for a long run....it may still be cold but the sun is out..yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I decided I have to appreciate the things I am happy about.....I am happy that I went and plonged(washed the dishes) at the Peter Kump Cooking School on the upper East side of New York, where I took Tech 1 and Tech 2, and Tech 1 I took over and over.....I appreciate learning to care about sharp knives, quality ingredients and the history and story behind dishes, learning about France, learning about proportions(I still have to buy Michael Ruhlman's new book Ratio). I was lucky to have known Peter and taken classes taught by him and the other memorable teacher I had was Gaynor Grant.

And I appreciate that I have traveled, trekked and skied so much, not as much as some but ALOT more than others. I totally, totally miss skiing, trekking and traveling, the only thing I can do is get really fit so when the opportunity arises I can jump on it!!!!!!!!!!!! I am really appreciative of the food, yoga and twelve step community in Chicago and I am appreciative that I am healthy and that I enjoy life no matter what the situation, there is something programmed in me that no matter what the circumstances I find joy in things.........

This week has been a week of loss for me, my Iphone died(not covered by its warranty, so I went for a cheap replacement and I am so at a loss without my Iphone, it totally sucks), I lost my bike key so I have to find the right tool to saw the Kryptonite lock off of my bike, and I am still looking for financially sustainable employment(is this too much to ask???)

SO with that said I am going to feel the joy of feeling free and enjoying the lake and the air and the joy of being able to run and get the endomorphins cooking and after that I am going to cook and make Ruhlman's corn bread and make more red cabbage and honey and will probably throw some sweet potatoes in the oven as well....

.................Happy Easter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Made the corn bread but may mix up the ingredients next time, may add more types of peppers, some sour cream and/or brown sugar and will broil at end with butter on top to get the top crusty. Did not make the cabbage, ran out of apple juice and forgot to buy apples. The Les Dames d'Escoffier Sustainable Seafood event is on my agenda for next week....I may live in the "Midwest" currently(mountains, mountains pull me in) but there are still a lot of restaurants that serve fish and the question is, where do they get their fish, what is the supply/demand equation of fish, fish populations, the use of Lake Michigan to sustain fish...As I eat less and less meat, and more vegetables, fish is still a healthy alternative for protein and fatty acids...so I am kind of curious.........

Have to Find My Place

2009-04-05T13:31:00.002-05:00

Went to an amazing party Friday night, Rampfest, sponsored by the LandConnection at the Garfield Park Conservatory. It was my first time inside and it is a gem of Chicago. I felt like I had taken a trip to the Amazon and it was wonderful to be surrounded by so many green things!!!!!! And the event supported a great organization that is trying to secure land for farmers so more local food can be grown in and around Chicago. Not only was the conservatory incredible but all the chefs that supported the event produced outstanding dishes utilizing ramps. So I was very, very, lucky to be able to participate. Thank you Ann and Becky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I continue to watch some video of Shane McConkey and also the late Doug Coombs who both died doing what they loved in the mountains although years apart. I had been aware of Doug Coomb's operation for years, he was involved with the Exum Guides in jackson for a long time. It is one thing to be aware and it is another to do. As I kept sitting in front of the computers and phone turrets with all the angry old and young men, I kept getting farther and farther removed from being fit and able to ski and hike in the big mountains (in a mellow way not extreme) which was always my love and dreams. I really miss skiing, and I miss trekking in the mountains. I never quite got to the point where I could ski down a chute or couloir easily, that was always one of my ski goals and being fit enough to heli ski (mellow skiing) in Canada(CMH) or Alaska(Valdez Heli Skiing) was always one of my goals. It is sad that both are gone but seeing the videos of the mountains, hearing from my friend Ades of all his great adventures in Nepal has me sad that I am so far removed from the mountains right now and they LIVED their lives while they were alive and Ades continues to do that. Deep down I am a mountain chick at heart. I feel so alive when I am at the top of a ski slope or in the middle of a powder run or crossing a pass when it is snowing. Even though I am far from and don't figure on doing back flips off of a cliff, the joy of skiing in powder surrounded by big mountains(for me the mountains were the Wasatch primarily or the San Miguels) is indescribable unless you have been there and your inner compass is tuned to that frequency, the same with crossing a high mountain pass covered in snow. When I had 2 passes to cross in one day on the Tso Morari trek in the Ladakh region, I was so unfit and so slow and the local guide was so cheerful and so cold waiting for me and so patient, but at the same time I was really happy being frozen and tired, I was happy breathing in the air at 16,000 ft and being in such an open, quiet, beautiful place with snow falling all around me, so although it was hard to finish that day and I had to dig deep within myself to keep going, I was really, really happy and lucky to have such a kind guide who laughed along with me. And on so many of the treks I have been on, the porters and local guides have been such role models of how little it takes to be happy and how to be grateful for the simple things and such amazing work ethics be it Pakistan, India, Bolivia, Chile, China or Mongolia. I am so lucky to have had so many experiences but I am just sad that I am not there right now. I realize that all I can do is say prayers and try to do things that will put me in the right place and that wallowing does not work and is a waste and I am so great at wallowing!!!!!!!! I have been lucky, I have BEEN THERE and have been too MANY THERES!!!!!!!...but I still hope to heli-ski in the Chugach someday or do the Ramdung and Parchemo trek in Nepal or ski to the North Pole or climb and hike in Kamchatka. At the same time I feel guilty that I want to do these things, so many people have no chance ever to do it. And it is funny, working at the retail store, none of the employees except for 1 or 2 really know and I think really love the mountains. And most of the customers who come in, buy a piece of the dream, they will never ski, or trek but by buying a piece of the clothing, they feel cool, they feel like they are one of the mountain people. For me it is just sad, I am so far removed from it right now, all I can do is run and stay really fit that when the opportunity presents itself I can make the most of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So by immersing myself in issues to do with nature and food and land in Chicago helps me to channel some of that mountain energy in the short term and there are so many people that I admire because they are really dedicated to these issues.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, Michael Ruhlman has a great entry this week on food writing and writing period. His point is write for the reader not for yourself. Most of this blog breaks his rule, but it is nice to get my thoughts out onto the universe of the web because although no one really reads this, it is satisfying to my soul to know they are out there......

I said to a friend I believe enabling people in traveling and she said to say support and encourage. But I guess I just have to be grateful for all that I have done and been able to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On another note, in the midst of making the Serious Eats Red Cabbage with Apples and Honey, it smells great, was pretty easy and I am excited to taste it when it is done. I was lazy and did not let the sauce reduce down enough but I think it will still taste bueno!!!!!!!!! Made it and it is really good..............

And it is snowing and cold yet again in Chicago and I am going to go out for a short run I need to feel the elements and run to Mind's Eye by Wolfmother.

TIme to Buck Up and I Heart Ashtanga

2009-02-27T09:03:00.000-06:00

Well, after reading this entry by the AWG ( Angry White Guy, Saturday Feb. 21) where he writes that a real job contains three important elements: a sense of personal autonomy/accountability, a degree of complexity, and a solid connection between effort and reward. It does not contain: a paper hat or a cash register that has food symbols on it instead of numbers. Take the job that you want. Find a job that seems like it will be challenging, fulfilling and pays you some kind of wage and then work hard to do it well. If you take a job because it gives you benefits(and that is the main reason to take the job) then all you will have at the end of the day is benefits.

My original goal was to have a change of employment by the end of February. As I have said in the past, I kind of like parts of my retail job, I like the product, I get along with the people but the pay is completely ridiculously low, not just a little low, stupid low. So I HAVE to change. The magazine I have been working on, Edible Chicago, I love working on but it is a labor of love and soul not money. So I have to change strategy and change jobs ASAP and I just have to buck up and do it. I would love to take a job where they will give me some room to get up to speed in Powerpoint among other programs. I like working at a computer and I like designing things so I think I would like working on presentations and making them snappy.

Meanwhile, I LOVE ashtanga and the Primary Series, it is better than going to a therapist, having a glass of wine, eating great food, it sounds very corny but ashtanga is food for the soul, incredibly trite but true. At the end of the day what do we have but our bodies and the Primary Series connects me with myself, physically and mentally and empties my cache(brain) of all the stuff that has accumulated during the day and maybe it is because I have some great teachers, Bill Shapleigh, Tom Quinn and I just took Daylene Christensen's class, and of course, Paul Weiss ( who leads the class from a real loving but humorous place). And I am seeing improvements, I was born with squirrel arms so I will never have the long fluid look but my legs are slowly but surely getting to a place where I can do a full lotus pose, my backbends are getting much better that I think soon I will be able to stand up by myself, my handstands are getting better and even there is hope now that I might be able to do a bind, like Marichyasana A, my hands still don't reach each other but each time I get closer and it is a metaphor for how things are going in my life, even though I have major job and economic issues, I feel like I am get closer to a positive resolution. At least for today, I feel the universe is a benevolent place and compassionate place.

I still work on the Jagged Edge bit by bit as well. I have a lot of scenarios I need to elaborate on but I still haven't come to any idea of what the plot will be. My latest idea is that the heroine/main character of the story, checks out(in more ways than one) people at the register and is able to visualize their dirty laundry, like an asian woman who comes in wearing a black fur coat, pointy boots with spiked metal heels, and a black eye disguised with makeup and the man with her , who has a completely bald head with scabs on it, tall and big wearing a trench coat and small, tortoise shell glasses is actually a sadist or a nondescript, thin, soft spoken man with a pock marked face buying a jacket who uses a credit card from a computer company and she can see through him that he actually loves little boys or a father that comes in shopping with his very attractive daughter and at the checkout counter caresses her face and our character realizes the father is actually molesting the daughter and our character looks at the father and he looks at her and they both know she knows and he scowls, pays and walks away. My output is so low at the moment, Joe Janes continues to write a sketch a day at 365sketches, Meghan is just about done her thesis, at least I can write a few sentences a day, a paragraph maybe, I guess when I get home my mind gets preoccupied and is not in a place to write. I am just great at EXCUSES......My point for writing it, is to show people how active the human mind can be and that people are not alone in their own thoughts and anxieties, that it is part of the human condition. And to show how we all have so many layers to our personalities, some more than others and how much courage it takes for some to let people into those deeper layers. I think that is why I feel so comfortable selling outerwear and wearing outerwear, it is protective and comforting and how the people who seem most confident sometimes hide awful things about themselves behind these layers and the people who think the worst about themselves sometimes have the most to be proud of and they just don't know it.

Well, this post has tons of contradictions, bucking up on one hand and on the other working inward, but that is me, full of contradictions. One of my new or renewed actions of late is to support my friends and acquaintances, I helped a friend leave the hospital after a test because he was required to have someone take him home and I am going to start tutoring disadvantaged kids once a week for 1 and 1/2 hours, and I like to support fellow(what is the female version of fellow??)bloggers in their writing efforts. And my running, has been very minimal of late, today is a grey sky but I hope to get out and at least breath a little outside air, I don't know how fresh it is considering I live in a city. I continue to feel like I am on the edge of the ledge but I have confidence that I can maintain my BALANCE for now!!!!!!!!

25 Random Things About Me

2009-02-09T09:31:00.000-06:00

My oldest friend, Nancy,tagged me on Facebook with the chain letter "25 Random Things About Me". I have never fully embraced Facebook, I joined a long time ago to get access to a friends profile and I did not want my personal information out there, so I joined under a different name, Julie Brown. Then I tried to change the name to my real name and never heard back from the Facebook people,(maybe Facebook is actually run by aliens so that is why you never can reach a person). Since then, I use it occasionally, to keep up with my friend Ivan who I met on a trekking trip, to somewhat stay in touch with my retail college student friends who really use it and to stay aware of how it works. So I just didn't feel comfortable and I don't like to feel pressured to respond to chain letters, any kind of chain letter drives me bonkers!!!!! But then in Salon I read an article by Robert Lanham on the 25 things phenomenon and I decided this blog was as good a place to post my 25 things as any place. I already have my list of 43things. I am definitely a list person which is why I am finally succumbing to this 25 Random Things.

1. This picture is of my old dog who I loved, loved, loved, Sophie, a german short hair pointer, in the car as I drove to Moab Utah to drop her off to live with my friend Kirstin, who owns and runs the mountain bike company, Rim Tours. Sophie eventually died out there and is buried in Kirstin's backyard. Kirstin earned a zillion mitzvahs for adopting her. See this entry for the full story.

2. I was a plongeur(dishwasher)at the Peter Kump Cooking School in New York while he was alive, So I took his French Techniques classes for free in 1988 while I was going to business school. I went through Tech 1 about 4x and went through Tech 2 about 3 times but he taught me a love of great ingredients and appreciation for sharp knives and a love of everything French!!!! He was James Beard's protege and the founder of the James Beard House.

3. I am not a morning person but I would love to be and it drives me crazy that I am not.

4. I had the idea of starting a dog wear company for large, urban, dogs called Drippy Dog. I still have the URL. The first product was going to be a simple, plastic rain poncho. And I own the URL Youvegotthepower.com and Needtogetaway.com

5. I believe in always having fun in everything that you do, life is too short otherwise, but feel guilty about that belief because it isn't a "responsible, adult attitude, a corporate attitude"(vestige from growing up with my family) but I am feeling less guilty about it over time.

6. I feel most at home and the healthiest at 10.000 feet.

7. If I had unlimited funds and didn't have to work I would consider getting my Phd. in religion/philosophy, get an MFA and/or go to cooking school in Paris.

8. I always loved to do handstands and walk on my hands everywhere and all the time when I was 12 and 13.

9. I never wear the color, yellow, orange or red, you can never go wrong with black in a city.

10. I completed my first marathon in 1984 in 4:41 hrs and Rod Dixon won, since then I have finished 12 marathons, once I finished New York and Chicago back to back. My best finish is a 3:52 hours in the Boston marathon but I ran as a bandit so it is not official but I KNOW I did it! But marathons for me are too corporate now and have lost their appeal(call me old school, triathlons the same way, people have gotten too teched out in terms of gear), I would really love to have the time and be fit enough to finish one of the long trail runs out west and even the very short Imogene Pass run in Telluride.

11. I think Telluride is one of the most beautiful places in the universe, I would love to live there but it is a little too isolated unless you have a gizillion dollars so you can leave every now and then. Maybe that is why most of the people who live there now have a gizillion dollars.

12. I have 2 younger brothers who are fraternal twins. One lives at home in Connecticut with my mother in the house we grew up in, and before that lived in Chicago/Pittsburgh/Minneapolis for 10 years, the other brother lived at home with my mother for 12+ years and then got married and moved into his wife's apartment 15 minutes from my mother's house.

11. I was Captain of the Green Team at Convent of the Sacred Heart and was always a Green at Sacred Heart where I went to school for 13 years, kindergarten through 12th grade, except Sophomore year when I went to "Green"wich High School. And I went to Dartmouth whose colors were green and white and called "The Big Green". Maybe that was a bit of foreshadowing of my true interests????

12. I am not being random enough in this list and am getting too serious but I do like to invent new words. The latest word is baggle, when pants do not fit well, they baggle(the saggy part of the pant, particularly on women, right below the bum, NOT a good thing). I use the non-word exactamundo a lot, it is just a great sounding word in my book and can be said in a gizillion different ways, and I really like the word, gizillion in case you did not notice but I do not claim to have invented it.

13. I played Dr. Quack in the operetta The Pink Siamese when I was 6/7 years old. Dr. Quack is another foreshadowing of my true personality. I was dressed completely in a duck outfit, traumatized me for life.

14. I was in China, over 9/11 right near the Afghan border coming back from K2 base camp and the day before we heard the news over a short wave radio about 9/11, one of the porters was severely injured and almost killed, it felt like a funeral at our camp and the next day we heard about the WTC. One of those weird coincidences in life.(My friend Ivan and his Dad were on that trip)And that is one of the core episodes in the story/book I started to write, "The Middle of the Stans"

15. I have 2 bikes and no car, I like to bike everywhere and I really do not believe in cars.

16. I am in love with the ashtanga primary series, it just hits the spot, doing backward rolls, headstands and backbends makes me happy.

17. My mother had an low impact, aerobics exercise business for 30 years but smoked the entire time(in secret) and still smokes but has dementia now so we get along pretty well.

18. During job interviews in college, Mobil Oil flew me out to Chicago to interview with their office here, I wanted to stay back east, Chicago was way too midwest. During business school, Morgan Stanley flew me out to interview with their office here, I wanted to work in New York where the action and hip people were. Now I am here.

19. I love beautiful things(vases), textiles(cashmere, silk, pretty shirts, pretty shoes), art(abstracts), flowers(peonies, roses, star gazer lilies), men(what can I say I am shallow), places(Telluride, the mountains in Pakistan, wild places).

20. I really like to laugh and have an absurd, weird sense of humor that I am comfortable with now.(Go back to #5) I have had this weird sense of humor since I was 6 or 7, it had to have been the Dr. Quack experience....(See #13)

21. I love dramatic, well written plays in small venues about family/work dysfunction and I would love to write one or more some day about the dysfunction of a trading desk and Wall Street and/or the dysfunction of growing up in Greenwich, CT around all the wealth because I think in watching actions unfold on a stage it sparks recognition and healing and awareness in people about themselves and is a good thing and I love words and layering with themes and foreshadowing and recognizing patterns. But I am a MUCH, MUCH, MUCH better writer in my head than I am on paper which I am coming to terms with. Eugene O'Neil and Tennessee William's plays I LOVED analyzing in college. Tracy Lett's plays amazing, David Mamet, Tom Stoppard and AR Gurney, just love their work.

22. I want to finish a marathon when I am 70 and when I am 80. Over the last years, my pace has been consistent with the 80 year old men, so maybe there is hope.

23. My father died when I was 13 of a heart attack at 48 at home in Connecticut and my mother kept asking me to wake him up although I knew deep down he was dead and I just wanted to go back to sleep, but my mother kind of put me in situations like this before my father died, when he died and after he died.

24. We had to eat calves liver once a week as a kid and my mother cooked it so it looked and tasted like leather, I was an expert at figuring how to eat it and spit it out, stash it in my napkin, excuse myself from the table a gizillion times, stick it under the radiator, anything not to eat it and my father would not allow us to leave the table unless it was finished, one of the life experiences that drove me to cooking school. We also had to eat tongue(boiled), and kidneys.

25. If I could have anybody's jobs, I would love to be Maureen Dowd and write snarky columns like hers, have my friend Ade's job and lead people on mountain climbs all over the world and live in Sydney on my down time, be an up and coming playwright, be a foreign correspondent like Christiane Amanpour, live in Aspen, but work for the Jane Goodall institute and take trips to Africa to save the gorillas, run my own restaurant in Aspen or live in a mountain town and work with college students(I applied for this one and would love to do it)

Good thing that I did not post this on Facebook, I wonder what Julie Brown would post??????????? At the retail store they kid and call me Uptown Julie Brown............I kind of like the alter ego.............

It's Back....

2009-01-24T11:49:00.000-06:00

Well, we are back to Arctic Chicago but at least the sun is out. I have made progress on the cooking front. I now love squash and sweet potatoes. They both last a long time, being the slacker I am, I don't always cook things when I originally plan to and they end up sitting. Secondly, all you have to do is slice them in half, scoop out the seeds in the case of butternut squash, pour some olive oil and a little salt and pepper and then just let them cook in the oven for 45 minutes. I still had honey from Prairie Fruit Farms and I had left over candied ginger, so once the squash finished and a round of laundry as well, I poured a little honey over them and put some cut up ginger on top then I microwaved it. I have to say, it was very tasty and very filling and I got a dose of vitamins and nutrients at the same time. So cooking the squash is a total win/win food. I originally was put off by all the squashes because they are big and cumbersome but once I got over that, they are probably one of the easiest foods to cook. So my latest must have a lot of food, is the squash and I will add on the side some sauteed spinach in butter and soy sauce and my tummy is very happy!!!
And this week I volunteered at the Lincoln Park Conservatory as part of my retail job. I ran up there, volunteered and ran back. I had never been in the conservatory before and it is very cool. It is very, very green and I got my total green fix and breathed in all the oxygen given off by the plants. We helped to rake leaves away from the bottoms of the plants because they decay and give off lethal gases for the plants and attract all the bottom feeder insects like cockroaches. This was another win/win situation for me, I was really happy to discover all the nooks and cranny's of the conservatory like the fern room which felt very prehistoric. I got a great run in, not a 2 hour run, that is on the agenda for tomorrow,( it has not been a week yet since I made that commitment),but I was running all over Lincoln Park trying to figure out where the Conservatory was, I got it mixed up with the Peggy Norbert Nature Museum, which I guess happens often. But I think the Conservatory is another hidden gem of Chicago. AN since I was there on a Friday morning, it was deserted.

Finally, I have fallen for marketing and love the movie store in Itunes. I got my fix in again of the Big Lebowski and then saw the newest Coen brothers movie, Burn After Reading which was very funny!!!!!!!!!! Being a "slacker", who is not to love, a guy named Dude???? And Burn After Reading has a great cast, but it is just very funny because it has big name stars but they are all in roles that are parodies of themselves and the Coen brothers make fun of so many conventional things that is a part of the media and society that we live in but in subtle ways and they get you to think at the same time.

So my running has been going, my leg is still achy in the hamstring area which stinks for yoga, I am going to a brief writing workshop right after I end this and I cooked a little and my job situations is still in the air!!!!!!! But between now and Tuesday which will be a week since my other post, I will get a Chapter/Scene done for the Jagged Edge and I will get in a 2 hour run in terms of a job that sustains me financially but that I am really interested in doing, that is an ongoing project!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao......... JB

I Miss.....

2009-01-20T13:48:00.001-06:00

My aunt Betty died last week and I went to the memorial service her son, my cousin David, had for her, at her house where she lived for 50+ years in Berkeley. She lived to 94, with a wonderful, loving caretaker, Maurra, and her son, David, my cousin, and his wife, Tangela nearby. But I still miss her. My father died when I was 13 and Betty was his sister and the only relative other than her son (and his sons) on that side of the family. My grandmother who I never met had her husband leave her when she was very young, so my father, himself, grew up without a father. So Betty was my window into my father's life since I never really knew him from an adult perspective. And Betty had a great wit and loved words and had an opinion on almost everything, I think loving the New York Times could be genetic. Dying comes along with living and I think Steve Ilg at Wholistic Fitness who I et spiritual inspiration from, puts it in perspective for me when he talks about the bardo as he sees it. It is just sad to see things on this earth end. But as Coach Ilg/Steve is constantly reminding me on his blog, Direct Lines, each day we are constantly beginning again. With my Aunt's death, it got me to thinking of other things I miss, some of which I will see again, some I won't. I miss my old dog, Sophie, the German short hair pointer. The picture above, is of Sophie with an acute headache, actually not, it is of Sophie after being outside in the heat of summer and my nervousness that she might die of heat exposure. I miss seeing the clouds around mountains. I am kind of a cloud addict, they just fascinate me, and when I am in the mountains at a decent altitude clouds become so vivid and take on such cool textures, I just think clouds are cool. Finally, I love snow, I love ice but I really miss flowers, I LOVE FLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! In Berkeley this past weekend everyone has plants and flowers around their houses and the flowers attract all these happy warm weather birds and I miss the beauty of flowers and the happy chirp of warm weather birds which is different then the defiant sounds of cold weather birds.

I have been a complete slacker, hence the name of the blog, about running. It has just been too cold and grey and the life issues that have arisen from my aunt's death, though nothing to do with her directly, have been overwhelming at times, and my striving to work on the magazine, we are near deadline for the winter issue has taken my focus off of running. But I am getting back on track, and part of the reason for this blog, was to keep myself on track, so I am back to ashtanga yoga later today, and running before work tomorrow, because I really am so much happier a person when I get out and run. I go back and forth between thinking I was either a polar bear in another life because I love the cold but when it is hot I like to just wallow in the lake and sit in the sun and a mountain goat or lion because I love the feeling of freedom running in nature gives me, I just feel a lot more alive.

Finally, I have my daily blog reads which include, Angry White Guy (AWG), Direct Lines, Salon, New York Times, Huffington Post Chicago, Prosperity Circle (not every day), I always click on the Animal Rescue Site, Digg (Just to see what random stuff is out there), Meghan's Blaaaah when she posts, My Inner World, Olga's when she posts, for running motivation, and Heidi's , Serious Eats and Smitten Kitchen (SK) for cooking motivation, with a host of others that I rotate through depending on how much time I have which fit into the general categories of food and motivational blogs for running. Well, I have added a new daily blog to the line up, for motivation in writing, 365 Sketches by Joe Janes under his blog title, Bite and Smile. He is now writing a brief sketch a day, which for me, the ultimate slacker means I can at least write a brief sketch/dialogue scene once a week. So I am starting the 52 sketches project. I am not committing to any particular length and I am not going to print it on this blog but I will share the idea I have come up with. So for me, the ultimate slacker, I am committing to the 52 sketches project as well as the 52 2-3 hour run project which means at least once a week I am going to complete a 2-3 hour run. I will see if this ups itself to a 4 hour run a week project but I am starting out on a 2 hour run a week project and I will track my progress.

After reading everyone's interesting blogs I have come to admit to myself that this blog is somewhat of a snooze fest. Well, it may be a snooze fest but if anyone, and it is a miracle if anyone is, reading this, you may get a good idea from one of these OTHER blogs I have referenced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do miss my Aunt, but if only I can end my life as old as she was and as surrounded by love as she. She and my dog ,Sophie, who died in the care and is buried in the backyard of my friend Kirstin, of Rim Tours, lived under lucky stars to be taken care by such great people and to die surrounded by so much love and caring. At least in my mind, I picture their stars overhead watching and protecting and supporting me now in spirit. But I miss them both!!!!!!!!!

More Snow

2009-01-12T10:23:00.000-06:00

I don't do very well with grey skies and yet again we have more snow and grey skies. The temperature hasn't been frigid so the snow has been melting in the streets and creating these huge puddles. Isn't the color scheme great in these pictures, grey, grey and more grey, no wonder it is so easy for me to get on the edge of the ledge this time of year!!! Meanwhile one of my colleagues at the retail store is running the Frozen Otter this weekend on the Ice Age Trail up in Wisconsin. Now granted he is in college and doing the race with 4 other friends who are Marines. Meanwhile, I have been having a really hard time getting out and running. I don't really like to ski when it is snowing heavily, I just don't like getting wet. When I was in business school in Japan, an American friend there would go out and run no matter how hard it was raining and he motivated me to run in the pouring rain which I did. But here in Chicago, I just come up with a million slacker excuses. But one of my New Year's Resolution's is to not be too hard on myself so I am going to be happy when I do get out and run, and I am going to try to be more regular about it but I am not going to beat myself up if I don't.

Meanwhile my Ashtanga Primary Series continues to progress but my left hamstring has been really sore, which I am not sure if it is from running with the wrong shoes or from the chair I sit on when I work on my computer(I now sit on the floor which has been helping a bit) and I have been trying to ice it as well.

The grey skies just bring out all my slacker tendencies, I haven't made the Squash soup yet but I have all the ingredients, so that and popovers are on my must do agenda for the week!!!! And my writing has not progressed much but I did see The Seafarer by Conor McPherson at Steppenwolf which was great but upsetting. McPherson so accurately displays the dynamics of alcoholism and how alcohol binds men together but it was also sad because although the play ends on a small note of optimism it really didn't show any resolution to the character's situation. I didn't really like the ending because I thought it was a quick way to end the play on an optimistic note and it was too obvious and somewhat disjointed, as if McPherson said to himself ,"I can't end it in on such a sad note what can I do to make it positive?" But I thought the set was incredibly well designed almost to a point where I was feeling claustrophobic from the way the characters lived. I guess what I took from the play is that it is so important to get out and interact with the world and not hideaway in a cave, either physically or metaphorically by numbing oneself with alcohol so that you are in your own mental cave of numbness. Whenever I see a Steppenwolf play I get so many ideas for scenes, stories of my own. And the Steppenwolf space is so fantastic from any seat that you sit in. The quality of the productions and the incredible space make Steppenwolf one of the things that I appreciate living in Chicago and I got half priced tickets because I bought them that night.

Finally, from my retail store job, which has been going pretty well lately, because I have been having fun there, which is one of my mottos in life, to always enjoy what I am doing. I learned about this rapper Soulja Boy and his dance to the song, Crank That. I had to go to Urbandictionary.com to figure out the meaning to some of the words in the song. I wasn't necessarily shocked, I really don't get shocked anymore and I am pretty open minded about things but I thought some of the things he referred to are just derogatory towards women and I thought "do you REALLY have to go there??", it is pornographic in a completely ridiculous way. One of the women at the store said, "Jeannie, that is what all rap is about." Rap is just not one of those genres I have EVER gravitated to, but at least at the store, every one, 30 and under, seemed to know the dance and the song and who Soulja Boy was, so at least I now know. You might say, "who cares who Soulja Boy is, it is just trash, junk." On the other hand, his music is having an impact on a decent group of people, mostly under 30. In the movie Tropic Thunder, Tom Cruise who plays the asshole studio head references the Crank That dance. The movie kind of grows on you, it is stupid at times but also funny. I like trying on mindsets of different age groups. I guess it goes back to the fact that I am great at being immature, but at some point I think some immaturity is a good thing, I think we have our whole life "to be old" and staid and in one box of thinking and to me being old isn't necessarily one's chronological age but a state of mind. I have always believed it is good to get out of the box!!!! Between the ridiculous porn references of Soulja Boy and then another college guy at the store who is a Halo addict, which is a Nintendo game all about death and destruction and defeating the aliens, all I could think was GREEAAAAATTT....this is what is getting reinforced on the brain....... kind of scary...kind of makes me think that the seeds of Alex's universe in a Clockwork Orange are being sewn through these things....... But I will say I did work on learning the dance to Crank That...one of those goofy things that we all were laughing about, and laughter is always good in my book!!!!!!!!!! So I think this covers Jeannie's random, rambling for the week!!!!!!! I have just come to accept my inner weirdo!!!! On that note, ciao, I am going out to attempt a run...........

Happy 2009!!!

2009-01-05T14:10:00.001-06:00

I am posting on the fly right now, these pictures are from my usual run to Olive Part we are now in full Arctic mode here in Chicago. I love the way the ice forms which is why skiing to the North Pole is a trip I want to do. The pathway along the water with the trees reminds me of walkways in Paris. I am obviously dying to travel again but at least I have the memories of having been to Paris and winter camping(not the North Pole unfortunately) and I have an active imagination. I had to add in this quote from Steve Ilg's Wholistic Fitness site,

"One climbs, one sees. One descends, one sees no longer, but one has seen. There is an art of conducting one's self in the lower regions by the memory of what one has seen higher up. When one can no longer see, one can at least know." Rene Dumal

The quote is so true, I miss mountains and the beauty of their summits but at least I have seen and I do know. I highly recommend Steve/Coach's site. The bottom 2 pictures are of of giant water lilies from the Amazon and then what I call Ice Lilies. So this is my appreciation of the cold and the beauty in every day nature for today!!!

Okay, 2009.....I made a list of ideal Jeannie and realistic Jeannie. The top of the list is that IJ is a morning person and gets up at 5:30 springs out of bed to either go running, read my daily blogs and comments or works on Edible Chicago. RJ does not spring out of bed and has never been a morning person. I really think morning people are born and not made. Most of my life I have been frustrated that I am not a morning person, it would be so nice to love waking up early, once I am up, I am happy but it is that crucial moment between sleep and wakefulness that for me is so difficult. A little voice takes over in my head saying this bed is comfortable and cozy and that my body and brain does want to get up right this second. I am great working closing hours at my retail store....I am not a night owl anymore but I really like easing into the day, with my coffee and being quiet. On a bike trip I went on, one of the guides characterized the other guide as non-verbal in the morning, that is me, I like to read over the news of the day, my affirmations and think and create my plan for the day. I WISH I sprung out of bed.....so my plan for 2009 is to work on embracing the day as best I can and going to sleep earlier so I get up a little earlier. And who knows if I do start jogging dogs, I will definitely be getting up earlier in the morning. Do you think morning people are born and not made, what suggestions do you have to make getting up in the morning easier?

I do plan on making the Roasted Garlic and Winter Squash Soup from Serious Eats this week, one of my other resolutions, to try cooking something new once a week and to make time for it!!!!!!! Have a joyful and productive week............

The Sun, A Blue Sky, Life is Good

2008-12-30T14:19:00.000-06:00

i I took pictures of my little run to Olive Park today. The sun was out, the snow and all the grey puddles were gone and it was just a gorgeous day. It is amazing how different the same scenery can look depending on the weather. I made Heidi's Mushroom Casserole over the last week and it is really yummy!!! I love mushrooms so next time I think I will add more than what the recipe calls for and a mixture of different types although baby portobellos/crimini are my favorite. And I made the ginger crisps as well, being the impatient person that I am, I did not let them cool off long enough so the cookies started breaking up. The crystallized ginger is what makes them taste great plus the brown sugar and my friends thought so too!!! With all the cooking, of course I have to up the running!!!

The view of the Hancock building is from the end of Olive Park, that is where I do my sun salutations and cartwheels. Being upside down does something energetically that makes me feel so much better about life. I took some skewed pictures by accident today...I titled them, "My World", I thought they were quite appropriate for what my world feels like sometimes, out of focus and skewed, I am excited, I think I am much more in balance for 2009, and so many people I have encountered are moving on to their next stages and I think that is what is in store for me, the next stage which will include me being more humble in general and being grateful for what I have and focusing on the things and people that bring joy in to my life, support me and help me grow as a person and where I can be a positive force in their lives as well. Life is TOO SHORT to do otherwise. Funny what a SUNNY day can do. At least I can go back to these pictures when we get back into the normal, grey Chicago skies and I start getting to the edge of the ledge again....But I am excited, an Ultra(I signed up for the Lakefront Ultra on April 4th,although for me signing up and doing are 2 totally separate things but at least I am definitely in!!!!), more writing, skiing again at Snowbird, climbing again and plenty of Primary Series in yoga, I have the courage to go to a Mysore class soon and one of my major priorities is being more open to people and making new friends(particularly guys), and appreciation of the friends that I have!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am excited for our new President who is inheriting a mess and it will take some time to sort things out but at least the country is getting back on the right track with someone whose convictions are in the right place in my opinion. I am excited to work on Edible Chicago, the little magazine that could!!!!! And I have a couple of job opportunities that I am interested in, if they are interested in me.... And I just weighed myself today and I lost another 2lbs despite its being the holidays. I am so excited at getting back to the old/new me physically, as I get more at peace with myself I don't have a need for all the extra physical layers and I know I will never be skinny and I don't have to be, I will be happy to get to a point where I can finally do a kickback in yoga, I am doing handstands and headstands but I would love to be able to hold myself up in a seated position with just my hands and the laws of physics aren't letting me do that quite yet, but I am getting there. A lot of the binds in yoga are another thing, I was born with monkey arms so I can only do what I can do but I do laugh at myself, A LOT, when I attempt any of them. Some people can look so graceful when they attempt things, I am just not one of those people. So I am optimistic for 2009, I am going to pray more for one thing, particularly when I start getting to the edge of the ledge again, which is so easy for me to get to and I am going to practice accepting myself(this will take ALOT of practice) and just being me, to have fun at most whatever I do, and to see where this year takes me which hopefully means Colorado!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year 2009 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cold, Colder Xmas

2008-12-25T16:59:00.001-06:00

Well, Chicago has officially turned into the Arctic, although I don't think it is going to last very long, it is suppose to go up to 40 degrees over the next couple of days which means slush and super huge puddles all over the city. I went on a medium length, icy Xmas run out to the point at North Avenue beach. As I continue to really, really, miss the mountains, and skiing and traveling, when I run with so much snow and ice on the ground I pretend that I am training to ski to the North Pole and the terrain brings back memories of being on the Baltoro Glacier in Pakistan or other times of being in snow in the mountains. Living next to the Lake is a true luxury because the landscape takes on so many different personalities depending on the time of year it is. I spoke to my mother and my brother, who is a true saint living with my mother, and who has the biggest heart in the world. I spoke to several friends to wish them Merry Xmas as well. But as I ran I was so appreciative that I have the ability to run and I like the challenge of the ice and snow it makes my quick jog a lot more fun and interesting and really puts me in the moment as I had to focus on where I placed each step. For some reason I finally got the Xmas card sending spirit so that is one of my projects for the weekend. And I was very appreciative of having sunlight today, and seeing the sunset!!!!!!!!!!!! For the last week it has been very gloomy and cold and I have decided that I definitely get S.A.D. during this time of year. I am appreciative of every ray of sunlight and every single sunset that I see!!!!!!!!!! I am not running the Huff50K, was not in the cards, I could not find any transportation to it but I am committed to the Lake Front Ultra on April 4th. I am entering shortly because I absolutely am going to run it!

My plan for the rest of the day is to make the ginger cookies that has been on my list to do for awhile, and see a movie I rented that is about to expire, 10 Questions for the Dalai Lama. Somewhat of an appropriate movie to watch on Xmas, and the Xmas lights which I love are still up all over the neighborhood so life is good today!!!! The Xmas holiday makes everyone slow down, snow and ice makes everyone slow down, so for once, the rest of the world is forced to forego, "rushitis, the disease of acting incredibly busy and stressed". And I am trying to get accepted by the Dog Running guy to start, well for me, jogging several dogs each morning in the neighborhood. I figure I need to pick up my mileage, I really miss having a dog and I can get paid for doing 2 things I love at the same time. So I have to remember to continue to lighten up in many ways, lighten up physically, which one of my weekend projects is to buy some new pants because most of pants are too big now, to lighten up mentally, and to appreciate those little moments of joy in everything that I do and to really appreciate my friends and to focus on increasing joy and love in my life............

Merry Xmas

Rudolph Scramble and Chicagarctic

2008-12-14T10:36:00.000-06:00

Well, the lake has started to look like the arctic. It is not in its full winter look, but the ice has begun to form and from now on we start getting ice bergs in the lake. I took pictures from a run to Olive Park which is developing an ice shelf on one of the walls at the point. The other pictures are on my way back from the Rudolph Ramble and of course I had to get one of Santa Claus!! I got to the race or as my new name for it, The Rudolph Scramble, at the last minute, I was the very last person to enter. I thought about jumping in and not paying but I just did not feel good doing that and since I am trying to be more true to myself, I knew I would feel funny about hopping in and that it was just plain bad karma and since I had already crashed on my bike on the way there, I felt there was way too much potential for another accident to risk bad luck on the way home. I crashed at the ramp at Oak Street beach. I thought the ice had pretty much melted but I ended up attempting to do a hockey stop on my bike so I executed the slo-mo, "slow slide crash". A homeless guy under the the little walkway came to my rescue and asked if I was okay, which I was, but it was a great wake up call to be careful. However, there is something in me that doesn't mind falling down, most of the time it is pretty comical and particularly when I ski and crash it just makes me feel like a kid and humble and stupid and I laugh. Not to get too philosophical but so many "adults" are so afraid to fall down, literally and figuratively, and falling down is part of life and I think the reason I never hurt myself is that I just roll with it. I ,also, think I am probably too in touch with my inner kid and the spirit of having fun because in some weird way crashing is fun, I don't know exactly why? The race ended up being shortened to a 5K instead of 8K which I realized when we came to the finish line and saw that the race was over and we had only finished a 5K. I am happy that I got up and participated. Given my slacker tendencies, when I go out running on my own it becomes more meditative and relaxing and freeing and I don't exactly push myself all the time so races are good to get my competitive juices going which does not take much, underneath it all I am always competitive almost too much. I feel much better about my races these days, I am now hanging out with the "fit" part of the pack, and I am really happy about that!!!!!!!! I still have a ways to go in terms of being up to speed(no pun intended) for me, but I am getting there!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!! And I really think I was a polar bear in another life because I love the cold and the wind and the elements, I tend to have a hot personality anyways and when it is cold, I just love to run hard, it makes me happy, it is not skiing but I have to say it was fun when the wind was at my back and I felt it pushing me along on my bike. And being outside in this weather just makes my spirit feel free and happy and lucky that I am fit to enjoy the outdoors!!

Well, I am entered in the Huff50K, even though I am not in shape I kind of want to do it but I have absolutely no idea how I am going to get there at this point, that is to be determined, I have decided it is either in the cards for me to attempt it or it isn't. And on my list of things to do this week is to make Heidi's Mushroom Casserole and to make Brown Sugar Ginger Crisps. I enjoy cooking, I just don't make enough time to do it. So my motto for this week, is that changes take time and I have to be patient and that I want to be joyful about whatever I am doing because life is too short not to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And this is my half year anniversary of my blog, OH MY, time goes by soooooooooooooo quickly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had better figure out how to get that Ultra in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Missing the Mountains!!!!

2008-12-09T09:42:00.001-06:00

I have realized lately, I guess because we have snow now in Chicago, that I really miss the mountains and skiing and hiking. My screen saver on my computer turns into a slide show from my photo library, when the mountain pictures are on the screen my heart tugs and I get pangs in my stomach. We are all on our own journeys but I have realized lately that I really do love the mountains but for some reason have had a hard time figuring out where, how to move to them. The pictures above are from my Pakistan trip and the tent is from the Ladakh trip. One of the things I like about Chicago is that we get ever changing weather which is very similar to being in the mountains and I love running when it is snowing for some reason snow makes me really happy. But I really, really, really miss skiing and I have to figure out how to get myself in a position to ski again. I chose my college, yes, because it was an Ivy League college but also because it was in the mountains and it had a good field hockey team, I moved to Chicago because I figured it was easier to get out west to Snowbird to ski. So, I am now focusing on how to make the mountain thing happen, the economy stinks, the job market stinks, there are a lot of reasons to buckle down and be practical, but my heart says the mountains and I just have to figure out how????? I signed up for the Huff50K but still have no idea how I will get there. I am about to go out for a medium length run and it is grey, gloomy, cold, drizzly/sleety here...sounds really fun doesn't it????? Somehow I am going to try to find some joy today, maybe I will get inspiration on my run....

FInally, Meghan on her blog referenced this book on the Cardinal Rules of Blogging, I am sure I have broken all of them but you know what, this is my blog......,heheheh, so I can blog when I want to and about what I want to..... as bug's bunny used to say...that's, that's, that's all folks......................

Seize the Day

2008-11-22T12:15:00.000-06:00

Well, my latest music to write an entry to is "Seize the Day", and "The World Ain't Slowing Down" both by Ellis Paul and I found Ellis Paul from my Beautiful World by Colin Hay station on Pandora. My yoga continues to progress, so that is a positive, I got up from a backbend this week(with help) and that was after 5 backbends. I haven't gotten up from a backbend in about 8 years and today it felt much easier than 8 years ago. And I am seeing my body open more, and my shoulders loosen up( come on, I live in the City of Big Shoulders)and all that is very exciting to me because I can feel it affecting me mentally as well.

This week has been about great food but in moderation, Ed Levine at Serious Eats keeps making progress on his weight loss despite being around amazing food all the time, and it is definitely possible to have a healthy relationship with great food. I am finding that I really have to practice eating much slower, being thankful for the creativity and effort that went into producing it and being particular about where the ingredients came from. I made Heidi's Baby Lima Soup with Chipotle broth. I found that I loved the broth, I am a total chipotle addict and the carmelized onions in the broth tasted great but I somehow messed up cooking the beans and they never got passed el dente, I tried to ignore the fact since I loved the broth but the soup is really about the beans, so I tossed it after giving it a couple of tries for lunch and dinner. I just could not get passed the too crunchy beans. But I may try making the broth again. Went to a great dinner at May Street Market that was sponsored by Chicago Gourmets and featured Sheila Lukens who cowrote the Silver Palate Cookbook and just came out with a new one, named Ten. Then this weekend is the Localicious Party on Friday, Family Farmed Expo and the Edible Chicago magazine booth that I am working at. How can anyone be in a bad mood around healthy food and happy people. And tonight I am going to try to go to Soiree Dada: Schmuckt Der Hallen at the DCA Storefront Theater that Don Hall, the Angry White Guy is directing. Last year I was too scared to go the Dada show because they take people out of the audience and put them on stage and the thought of that was way too scary to me. Since then , I went to their summer show and at least have a small, fraction of an idea what to expect so my fears are eased or am I becoming less fearful about things.

As far as running, that has suffered a little, it has been very cold here, and grey skies and I lose excitement about getting outside, but it is on the plan for tomorrow morning early. I have been mentally working on the Jagged Edge story but have not done much writing. I am finding I have tons of scenes but I feel not enough of a plot or dramatic arc in my story, but I going to get started on it today between the Family Farmed Expo and the Dada Show.

So today has been a hopeful week, full of some personal breakthroughs and some things not accomplished. I kind of miss my old sales trading job. I am realizing there were times where I really enjoyed it. The key for me is to find balance. As my balancing poses in yoga improve so does balance in my life, funny how that works...But I am feeling a bit of running guilt that I need to get outside more no matter what the weather!!!!!!!!!!!! So hopefully I will make some progress on that.....

To Write or Not to Write.....

2008-11-15T08:24:00.000-06:00

I have still been grappling with the question of how much I am willing to devote to really trying to get a story published either as book or a play. I somehow think it will just pop out of my head and I will sit down for 8 hours and I will finish it. However, when it boils down to it, creating a professional piece of work takes a lot of time and commitment, and I am scared to commit out of fear that it will be horrible and my fantasy of being an "Author" will be shattered and this idea I have that I can write well and that I have talent and that I have a lot of interesting stories to tell is all just a misconception, a delusion, blah, blah, blah..... Which somehow reminds me of one of my favorite songs of late, the Girl Who Won't Get Up, by The Sea of Is, while I sit here listening to my Beautiful World by Colin Hay station on Pandora.

At my mother's house I found a few pieces of my writing from 6th grade and college. In 6th grade I wrote the following poem...Now remember..I was 11, so I apologize in advance for the rhymey, rhymey thing...

A Wish.....

A mermaid is a special thing

She has the ocean as her home

The colors of the rainbow are her tail

She can play, swim and roam,

This is what I wish to be....

A bird is free, it can fly,

It has the boundaries of the sky.

A bird has beauty, it can sing

A bird has the luxury of a pair of wings,

This is what I wish to be...

A human is a special thing,

It has a brain, it has voice,

A human can laugh, cry or sing,

A human is able to make a choice

This is what I wish to be......

All these things I wish to be,

To own the sky, to own the sea,

I wish I were 6ft. tall!

But I like being human best of all.....

This is definitely a school girl's voice and I have always wanted to be taller but it still only reinforces why I love traveling so much and I love the mountains because when I am on a mountain top, I don't have wings, and I don't own the universe but it is the closest thing to feeling like a bird I guess besides sky diving or paragliding but I definitely feel free, not tied down and part of something bigger...I guess even as an 11 year old I had those thoughts.....And when I was at my mother's house I thought of my thoughts being home the summer after graduating from college and it was more filled with fear than excitement and I realized I have traveled and done far more things than I ever thought I would, but at the same time because of all those experiences I want more of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I heard someone bring up the saying, "do things you fear and courage will follow" and Meghan in her blog brought up the question, "What would you attempt to do if you knew you wouldn't fail?" At first I couldn't come up with anything, then a few days later I realized, "yeah, I would totally put all the time into writing a book if I KNEW, it, and I, would be a SUCCESS". And Olga in her blog, has this quote, "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place". SO I took a step and found out about the Stories and Wine Festival, from Julie Saltzman of the Uptown Writers Space. The Stories and Wine people have a submission deadline of December 1st for 1800 words, according to my calculations about 8 pages of writing or 10 minutes of reading. So my slacker excuse now is that I need to find a place where I am calm to write, in my apartment the To Do List constantly pops up in my head, get a more substantial job, work on the magazine, clean, bills, find a new recipe, cook something, email someone, network, call people, organize, phaff....I guess the Chicago, grey sky weather puts me in hunker down mode and I have to look at things like this Pacific Trails calendar for 2009, with the breath taking scenery that people actually do run through, to keep in mind the possibilities that exist if I put my energies into it....

Meanwhile my left wrist has been sore so I am taking a few days break from yoga... I am not sure how I did it but I thought a zillion pushups on my left wrist was not a good thing right now...And a short run The Jingle Bell Jog is on the agenda for December and I have not signed up for the Huff 50K but am close to going for it......

Trees and Trails

2008-11-10T07:03:00.000-06:00

I was in Connecticut at the beginning of the week visiting my mother and brothers, I forget how pretty the trees are in the fall and the variety of trees(huge elms, maple and dogwoods) compared to the Midwest. I got in a short run my first day there and it was fun to jog on rolling hills and surrounded by so many beautiful trees and it was my old run that I used to do to train for field hockey so that brought back memories and it was field hockey weather. But I never got the long run in that I planned, at my mother's, my slacker tendencies really start to kick in, so instead my last day there I helped to get rid of things and clean. These are pictures of the driveway to my mother's house and the lane that I grew up on, Huckleberry Lane. Houses are only on one side of the street so it is very woody. As a kid, I went exploring in the woods all the time. Growing up, there were extensive horse riding trails all over but now with a lot of the open land developed the riding trails are gone. No wonder I love nature so much and trail runs.

I got back on Wednesday and this past Sunday I did the Universal Sole Trail run, the Rock N Sole Trail Challenge, in Schiller Woods near O'Hare, 5.25 miles It is kind of surreal to be running through woods and see a 747 over your head about to land. It was freezing and sleeting when we started. What a difference from all the beautiful colors in the trees in Connecticut, the woods for the race were bare and grey. I did break 10 minutes/mile for my time despite being a trail run which was a break through for me, slow to some but faster of late for me. I love trail runs, I love hopping over logs and running up hills, it just makes the race much more fun and I love taking long strides down the straight away on a carpet of spongy leaves(while listening to my run faster song, Move Along), it is less stress on my legs that I don't worry about pushing off hard. Needless to say I started off freezing and by the end of the race I had peeled off hat, gloves and my outer layer. My slacker voice in my head at the start of the race was thinking, "will my legs move?", "will I be able to run I haven't been running that much this week?", "all the people here seem pretty hard core I have the potential to be last". I did have the potential to be last, there weren't a lot of "my people" there but actually I came in in the middle of the pack which I was pretty happy about. A great guy named Eric(he is a real runner and came in first in his age group) gave me a ride to and from the race, so I didn't have to bicycle there and I made it just in time to get to the store and work for the rest of the day. The grey skies get to me after awhile but running so well(for me) in the race gives me hope that my slacker tendencies may be taking a back seat for awhile. I will never be a very fast runner, I think my best avg/mile time during my fittest period of my life was a 6:45/mile. I will be happy just getting back to an 8 minute mile for a 10K which I am not close to, yet. I am past the point of being happy just finishing, but I am one of those people on a slow path of improvement so every little tiny bit of progress I see is HUGE for me. In races like this one that are small and I still see 60 and 70 year olds running 8/9 minute miles gives me great hope that it is possible to improve as you age. The Turkey Trot is on the calendar for Thanksgiving although I get sad that I won't be skiing at Snowbird which had been part of my Thanksgiving ritual for about 10+ years, run the Turkey Trot, and then hop on a plane to Salt Lake the same day and be up at the Cliff Lodge by 9 pm Utah time. I got in 3 days of skiing up there for about 10 years. And I am still pondering the Huff 50K for the end of the year.

Finally, I have done no work on "The Jagged Edge", I like blogging, I write in my journal but I have "not been in the mood/motivated" to work on the story. This gets me thinking how much do I really want to write a story? I do but like a lot of things that are good for me, I somehow put them off and do the things I am "suppose to do", like keep my apartment clean(it also makes me feel more in control of things when I clean), write in my journal, search endless online for the answer to many things, at the end of a lot of poems I used to end them with,"I wish someone had the answer", work at the store, work on the magazine, job hunt. I guess I haven't been quiet or still enough to be in the mood to write about the story. My goal for the week is to find some quiet time for an hour or two and sit down and write. It is really calming and fulfilling to write 6-8 pages. It is just a matter of getting started. To be continued. JB

Ashtanga, Ambivalence and Commitment

2008-11-02T09:18:00.000-06:00

Well, I was hoping to write a post(as I write this I am listening to my latest favorite channel on Pandora, the Beautiful World by Colin Hay channel-Pandora creates this for you by just specifying a song that you like) about running the Chicago Ultra that took place this past Saturday. The store manager where I work finished the 50K part of the North Face Challenge races in Madison, WI. He has been under a hectic schedule and still managed to get enough training in to finish the race, no matter how painful, he finished it!!! His finish really motivated me to give the Chicago 50K a shot. I had hesitated signing up because the entry fee was close to $75 and I didn't want to shell out the dough unless I was going to do it(my slacker tendency has been to flake out of races even if I have spent the money to sign up). I went to Fleet Feet the day before the race to sign up and found out the race cap had been met and it was closed. I was really, really disappointed because I had that mind set of "just doing it" and I really wanted to try. I decided I had to accept that it was the universe saying it was not my time to do it. Now I have this idea to enter the Huff 50K that takes place December 27th, issues are the race takes place in Indiana, I have to find transportation, a place to stay, etc. But this is my current idea so I can finish 2008 at least saying that I attempted a 50K, part of the reason for this blog is for me to stop thinking and what "iffing" and instead, doing or at least attempting these things I either dream about or think about. On the agenda for next week is the Universal Sole trail run, the Rock N Sole trail challenge on Sunday, a short race but through the woods.

So instead of getting up and going to the race at 5am in the morning Saturday, I got up at 6:30(well, okay, I hit snooze several times, so it was more like 7am) had coffee and biked the 40 minute ride to Yoga View, and took Tom's Ashtanga Primary Class. I am in love with the Primary Series, can I be in love with yoga? I love skiing, I love climbing, I love trekking, I love biking. I guess it is that I recently realized how I love yoga, like I love skiing, it is that entire consumption of my focus and my mind, and the exhilaration I get from the activity . There is something about the sequence, no matter how ugly some of my attempts at the poses are, that is really soul satisfying. It is hard to put into words, but half of me is anxious at the start of a Primary Series class, my slacker thoughts come into play, "will some of the poses hurt to much", "will I hurt myself", "will I be too creaky" because the class is really demanding, at least for me. But then the other half of me really enjoys how I have to be fully present to go through the series and once we say the opening prayer and go through the opening sun salutations which are very gentle, I get happy that I am there. My intention that I say to myself for every yoga class I take is "to be kind and gentle with myself" which with ashtanga means not necessarily going to that "jagged edge"(I couldn't help using the term) where a lot of live wires are dangling in whatever part of my body the pose is reaching into and if I feel like I have gone there first I breath, and then I back off a little. The beginning sequences are all these opening postures which I am getting better at and which for me are good to do because they physically open me(like a chiropractic session with the noises of bones moving around included) but I feel emotionally and spiritually they open me up and at this point I am close to being warmed up and I lose my panic about being limber enough to go through the series, doing backwards rolls make me happy for some reason, doing headstands makes me happy, and then towards the end after I feel like I have done a zillion pushups and am really tired at the same time I feel at peace with my body and all its warts and I feel completely at peace with myself. It is one of the few activities that I lose the ego, and the self consciousness I carry with me most of the time and just become one with the moments although there are moments of internal laughter as I see how stuck my body is in places but it doesn't get me mad or frustrated, I just kind of accept that is where I am. the series somewhat connects to my inner gymnast(I was a gymnast in high school and college, not particularly great but I liked it). After class I am on this mental plane of contentment. The adjustments that Bill, Tom, and Eva(who assisted Tom in his class) give are really satisfying because it seems they each have the talent and experience of how far to gently push my body more than I am willing to, and the opening the adjustments create are kind of like Aha moments, it is is exciting to see, hey, my body can actually do that. There is something with this sequence that has a powerful impact on me mentally and spiritually. My goal at the start of this year was to learn the Primary series and start going to the morning Mysore classes and I have revised that goal because the task for me is a little more formidable than I anticipated so I will be happy if I have half of the series memorized by the end of the year.

Finally, my third theme for this post, ambivalence. Way too big a category to really expound on, suffice it to say I am not ambivalent about yoga anymore, I am fully committed to making my classes but I have started realizing how I am ambivalent on some important things relative to my life. How committed I am to writing, to finishing an ultra, to moving to Aspen, Telluride, to finding a job that I make my monthly cash flow to a lot of things. At least with finishing an ultra, I may not get the training in but kind of sad to say but I am great at "pushing through the pain", kind of the theme for part of not all of my life. I am beginning to realize there is good and bad pain and yoga is making me realize that, sometimes it can be painful but healthy to work on certain things in my body/in life. My computer dictionary's definition of pain is suffering or discomfort. I don't necessarily want to suffer but some things can be discomfortable and still good for me at the same time, like opening parts of my body in yoga that have been closed for some reason or another. So an ultra I somehow know even if I am not completely committed, if I am somewhat committed I can finish. Writing for me is a different story. I am really questioning how committed am I to writing? I write this blog, I write in a journal, but I have all these ideas for plays, stories, a book maybe. The question for me is, AM I really committed to at least trying to make publishing a story, play, book happen? I have given the book idea thing a shot but that was a shot in the dark attempt, 40 letters, 40 agents, 40 No's with a 4 hopeful responses. IF I really(I don't know this yet) want to craft and finish a story, play to the best of my ability I really have to commit. I have to add structure in my life to make a real attempt not a half hearted attempt that allows me to make excuses for failure. Have I written much about The Jagged Edge of late, a little, yes, but have I written every day, no...... If I want to make the story happen and finish it and move onto the next, I have to commit...it is easier to go to a yoga class which is a definite thing or run a race which is a definite thing, climbing a mountain is a concrete thing, trekking over a pass is concrete, physical activities are very satisfying because they are concrete and have a beginning and an end, working on something creative is a different kettle of fish..........SO this it with my slacker thoughts for the week...

Electroglobicity

2008-10-07T17:56:00.001-05:00

One of my slacker projects over the last 10 years or so was to take pictures of electric poles when I saw them on any of my trips and then frame them. This was part of my Electroglobicity project, the ultimate goal was to have a wall full of pictures from remote places all over the world of electricity poles to document the scope of how the world is wired. These are a few of the photos, I have about 20 or so all together, the bottom sunset was taken from a bus I was on, going from Arusha, Tanzania to Nairobi Kenya after I climbed Kilimanjaro and went on safari to the Ngorogoro crater, the pole in the field was taken near the Waimea caves on the north island in New Zealand and the bigger poles in the field was taken outside Prague in the Czech Republic while I was bicycling near Budvar. Just a couple of weeks ago I thought of this project which I had basically mothballed and put away due to space, lack of traveling, the thought that it was kind of a silly project and I wrote a brief essay on the subject.......

"I sit on the bus to Urbana from Chicago and I see power lines in a field. I could be in the Czech Republic, Zingjiang province in northwestern China, Bolivia or Urbana, Il and the picture will basically be the same. a power line in the middle of open space. The world is a grid, I wonder how far one could travel if you linked the wire from all the power lines and cables on the planet, would it reach Mars, Venus or the ex-planet Pluto? The world is an electroglobal planet, we are all linked by power. The energy of electricity is everywhere, you know what they say, electricity is in the air. When I flew into Nairobi and drove to Arusha, a lot of the landscape was dark, there was no grid 10 years ago. I bet if I went back there, they are now linked in, turned on, lit up. The planet is all about power and being linked in..............................

So now onto my next project writing a chapter a week about the fictional store, the Jagged Edge.....The first chapter opens with my character muttering to herself, "lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy" which is my mantra now in order to keep my sanity when I work at the store, if I tried to use my brain and look around and question things I would go insane so it is better to just turn myself off.....However, right now I do feel like life is a bit like living on a jagged edge.....

Slacker Uprising

2008-09-26T08:03:00.000-05:00

Was reading the papers and blogs this morning, one being Angry White Guy, I knew Michael Moore was coming out with a new movie but I did not know the title, the title says it all, Slacker Uprising. Go to the link for a preview, I could not help but make an extra post on this!

And an example of my slackerdom is that I went on a jog to Olive Park, did some sun salutations, handstands, cartwheels and situps and then jogged on the rock wall, on the beach, sprinted along the water jogged back to Chicago Avenue and then jumped in the lake and was very appreciative of the fact that I was able to do this at 10:30 in the morning before I went in to work at the store. Having the lake so close to me and so clean(to me) that I have not suffered any ill effects from the water(so far) is a minor miracle living in such a big city!

Birthdays and Ashtanga

2008-09-25T07:20:00.000-05:00

My birthday was last week the 17th and I think something was in the air because a lot of things started to bubble up in my head. Last year I made a list on the site 43 Things, and one of them was to learn the Ashtanga Yoga Primary series. I have been attempting to practice yoga for many years but I was never really at a physical or mental place to really move forward with the practice. I was a gymnast in high school so a lot of the asanas that might be new to people, headstands, handstands, backward rolls and backbends I knew I could do, I just was afraid to attempt them because I was really out of touch with my body for awhile. Well, this spring I took a workshop with Lino Miele, where I went through every asana(posture) in the Primary Series and when I left the workshop I felt so content and happy for most of the weekend it was almost unbelievable. However, since then I just kept putting off going through the series again because they are very, very rigorous and I knew I had to be in the right frame of mind. Well, I took a Primary series class at YogaView this past Tuesday night, where Bill Shapleigh lead us through the entire series. Now I of course did not accomplish every single posture but I got through the whole thing again and was so happy when I was done. I left thinking how yoga is really a part of my life and of how I am so happy that I have my body back again and that I am moving forward mentally and physically. It all goes back to Pakistan last summer as I was struggling up the glacier and I realized, we all have a choice physically as we get older, to take the path of giving in to age and saying I'm too old, I can't do it, or to take the path of opening new pathways in our body, and actually improving physically with age. After the Tim Miller workshop, a couple of weeks ago and seeing Lino in the spring it just showed me it is entirely possible to improve your strength and flexibility as you get older. I left the class Tuesday night mentally and spiritually in such a great place, I realized the more yoga becomes more important mentally and spiritually to me, the more I actually see physical improvements when I practice. There are people out there who live and breath chi, like Steve Ilg and his focus of Wholistic Fitness. I just feel very lucky that we have such a great yoga community in Chicago, and that Yoga View exists, and that for me I have to make my emotional and spiritual well being the number one priority which for me means getting to yoga twice a week whether it be the incredible Paul Weiss, BIll Shapleigh or Tom Quinn. But because of yoga I am back to doing cartwheels and handstands and handstands into bridges, all of which I thought I would never be able to do again. With all the people I hear complaining about their health, I feel really lucky to feel so vibrant!!! My plan for the week is to go to Tom Quinn's ashtanga class on Saturday morning at 8am......

Namaste

Happy Goats

2008-09-15T09:11:00.000-05:00

This weekend was action packed, I took a class with Tim Miller at Yoga View on Friday night that was all about the bandhas used in yoga. It was a perfect start to my weekend, Tim explained and demonstrated and we tried to employ the bandhas and understand their purpose or what one tries to achieve, but what I took away is how yoga is such a mental practice and not a physical one and I left the class on Friday night with a sense of peace. I only wished that I could have taken his classes all weekend!!!!!!

Then I left Saturday morning on a field trip to see the happy goats at Prairie Fruits Farm. Pastoral sponsored a field trip to the Champaign Farmer's market and then to a visit and tour of the farm. The vendors at the Green City Market have had a lot of tomatoes, however, one of the vendors in Urbana, had the following heirloom varieties, Cosmonaut Volkov, Goldie, Eve's Purple Ball, Black Prince, Garden Peach, Buffalo, Japanese Black Trifele, Roma(Yellow, Red, Black Plum), Green Zebra, Pink Beauty, Celebrity, Arbason, Brandywine, Striped German and Aunt Ruby's German Green and I probably missed some, but I had the thought of how I won't look at tomatoes as just a tomato anymore. At the market I worked on an essay related to my photo project on Electroglobicity which I hadn't thought of for a long time. I came up with this word to account for how the world is basically wired from top to bottom almost everywhere for electricity and on the drive to the market we passed fields with electric poles in the middle which is a scene that is common in almost every farm in every country on every continent and for a period of time, I took pictures of electricity poles wherever I was to document it in a way....But I digress....

From the market we went to Prairie Fruits where Leslie gave a tour of the cheeserie and we saw the painstaking process of making the cheese and all the rooms for each different humidity needed for the different types of cheese. It just made me realize how precious each little tub of cheese is when you consider all the loving energy that has gone into making it. Then we had an amazing lunch on their porch made with the vegetables and herbs they grow on the farm, of course cheese and some local grilled meat from a nearby organic cow farm. In the afternoon we met the very friendly goats who love to eat almost anything. We left the farm with a little bit of happy goat karma.

Then to top off my weekend I got up Sunday and biked the 45 minutes down to 63rd St and Jackson Park for the Chicago Half marathon start at 7:30am. I made it just in time, to throw my bike against a tree, drop off my bag and get to the start line. It was raining lightly when we started but after about 5 miles, it began to pour and it seemed like it just kept raining harder and harder, of course, my nano stopped working at 6 miles, my back up radio didn't work so I was musicless for half of the race which I felt was a karmic lesson for me to savor the noises of the racers around me but it was very hard, I LOVE MY MUSIC!!!!!! I kept thinking of the bandhas when I was running and breathing in as much air as possible. It actually was kind of warm, just very, very wet. But after about 9 miles, I decided I couldn't run much slower and I just got into sherpa mode and put my eyes the road in front of me and told myself, one foot in front of the other. I also kept thinking this was only 13 miles, AND I HAVE aspirations to do a 50K, I kept telling myself, this was only 13 miles and I could finish. All I know, is that I in the shape or lack there of I was in and how it felt jogging 13 miles, I couldn't imagine the training I have to do to run 30+ and I got a little frustrated when I saw some of the people that were passing me. And I thought of the uber Speed Goat Karl Meltzer, who is here now of his run of the Appalachian Trail....

I did finish in the pouring rain and then I got on my one speed bike and biked home against the rain and wind. I kinda of enjoyed the weather, for some reason, I feel more alive when I really have to battle the elements, however, I was happy that I was heading home to a hot shower rather than being in the middle of China and heading to my tent.

I have aspirations to run like a mountain goat, maybe not a Wasatch Speed Goat, but in the middle of the race I thought about creating different speed goat levels relative to my fitness and at least I feel I am at level one, the farm goat. I realize I really need to move to the mountains where I will have a playground to train in, rather than the flatlands here. But as I said to myself in the race, everything is a journey, one step at a time and at least I was there participating and I am happy that I did!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao..........

BIg Shoulders Swim on a great day

2008-09-06T10:33:00.001-05:00

Well, the athlete voice won out at 7:35 this morning, and I got up, had coffee and got out the door and biked to the Big Shoulders race. This was a personal triumph for me!!! In the grand scheme of things, finishing a 2.5K swim is not a big deal when I read on blogs about some of the incredible things people are doing, Karl Meltzer and the ultra running adventures of Olga and her merry crew of ultra friends, and my friend Judy, who finishes an Olympic distance triathlon while having a full time finance job, living in Manhattan and after having 3 boys!!! Are you getting the reason why I feel like a slacker???

So, the conversation between athlete Jeannie and slacker Jeannie went like this, this morning at 6:35 when my alarm went off,

S : Oh, it is only 6:35 I can sleep another 1/2 hour, then get up, have coffee and be able to get to the race on time.

So I go back to sleep and the alarm rings at 7:05

S: Oh, I can sleep another 10 minutes and then get up

A: If I don't do this race it will be another year before I have a chance and I know if I don't do it I will be really disappointed in myself.

S:Oh, the water will probably be really cold, I am so out of shape, I will feel horrible in the water. This bed feels so warm and cozy...................

The alarm goes off...

I hit the snooze again

S:Oh, I still have time, it is not my drop dead time yet...this bed feels so comfortable, I am so out of shape do I really want to put myself through the torture of a race?

A: I have been so fearful of life things lately, this is a great way to face my physical fears, this swim is nothing, it is just the first leg of a triathlon, I have been a slacker for far too long and deep down I really do want to do this race, I will be really, really disappointed in myself if I don't do it. At the very worst I can do breast stroke the entire time and finish and there will be people doing a 5k, so I know worst case I can finish.

S: This bed feels so great, the water is going to feel so cold, I am so out of shape...

A: I will be disappointed, I don't want to be disappointed, I have to face my fears and this one is an easy one..

The alarm goes off at 7:40

A:Uh oh, the first wave starts at 8:00 and my wave goes off at 8:20, I had better make coffee and book it out of here..I guess if I miss my wave I wasn't meant to do it.....

Well, I got out of the apartment, ran into Lee an old friend from my Masters Swim team days at the East Bank Club, I always seem to run into Lee at these kind of events, he was the first one I ran into the last time I did the Accenture triathlon.

The one thing about swimming which is good and bad, there are all shapes and sizes, which is good because I don't feel like the fattest most out of shape person out there, but swimming fitness is deceiving, because some of those out of shape looking people are very fast despite their appearance, so my excuse for not training (my slacker mind is great at coming up with reasons for why not) concentrating on a sport that doesn't necessarily make you thinner isn't necessarily a good one for me.

Anyways, the short of the race, I finished, it was ugly, and as I am swimming parallel to the LakeFront I see all these CARA running groups, it is amazing the number of people that are involved in the marathon training pace groups and of course, my slacker, low self esteem thought while swimming in the water was, "wow..all these people are out first thing in the morning running, wow, I really need to get my butt out the door and train more for distance races" But I will say I felt strong towards the end of the race, it felt great to swim, the water was amazingly clean, perfect temperature, the day was beautiful and I am SOOOOOOOO happy I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!! But I am happy that I swam in a lake, no matter how big Lake Michigan is rather than an ocean. The first buoy felt like it took forever to get to and I didn't have to worry about any sea creatures, just random algae strands.

So the plan for next weekend is action packed, yoga at Yogaview with Tim Miller which is always really inspirational and then Saturday I am going to see the happy goat cheese people on a trip with Pastoral, and then Sunday I have the Chicago Half Marathon, and then work at the store. But for once, the slacker was put at bay!!!!!

But Olga at her blog has this quote which I keep posted and remind myself of:

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive!!!!!!" from Howard Thurman

But it is so true, and I am trying to do and not think about things.....And I do feel more alive after doing the swim.....so progress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah........

Ciao Jeannie

Sophie, the Dog Star

2008-08-19T18:07:00.001-05:00

Several friends have either had illnesses with their animals or their pets died which reminded me of my old dog, Sophie, who died last summer. I wrote this essay which explains a lot about her right after I had heard she was dead.

A Dog Star
I call my mother once a week now. I used to call her everyday but her responses on the phone are beginning to sound like a tape-recording, “How’s the weather? How’s Sophie? Have you seen Sophie?”
Sophie is a German Short Hair pointer I had for 12 years who was born under a lucky star. My friends nicknamed her “Sophie, the Wonder Dog”. I acquired her in 1996, in Central Park while on a jog, and stopped to pet her. In talking, the woman walking her, told me, Sophie came from an animal shelter but the dog was too high energy for her so she was looking for someone else to adopt the dog. I had just gotten a new job, a new weekend house in the Hamptons and had just split up with a boyfriend who had a wired haired pointer. I had fallen in love with pointers rather than him. So after a night’s rest, I called the woman and agreed to the deal, I would adopt Sophie.
   The next 3 years, included Sophie’s disappearance in Central Park for 7 hours after her prong collar broke while being walked. I soon found that she would grab small dogs as if they were chew toys to play with, so Sophie became “the Dog Who Bites Little Dogs”. We passed a dog obedience class at the ASPCA(Sophie wore a muzzle), I took her for long jogs in Central Park but that didn’t deter her from biting another dog while a movie was being filmed. Sophie and I would get in a rental car every weekend to go to East Hampton which included her jumping through a screen window of the tiny cottage I had rented for the summer.
   When I moved to Chicago, in 1997, I made sure the bank included “dog moving expenses”. The next 10 years would be filled with all sorts of Sophie stories. I met with dog trainers, talked to my vet, exercised her all the time, and had her walked 3 times a day. But Sophie stayed a defensively aggressive dog. Perhaps, she loved me too much and vice versa. Her last year in Chicago, I took Sophie to the Animal Emergency Clinic 3 different times for enterotomies. As my life got more stressful, she would eat the carpet like ramen noodles. To see an animal that was so willful and full of energy walking around with her entire underbelly stapled together was heart breaking. The last straw occurred when I needed to move from my beautiful 2-bedroom apartment with tons of windows to a studio. I knew I wouldn’t have the room Sophie required or the money to get her the exercise she needed as well.
   Then my friend Kirstin, from Moab, Utah visited me a few months before I needed to make the move. It turned out that Kirstin was looking to adopt an older dog, she was separating from her husband and thought focusing on a new dog would help her get through this rough period. Good fortune!! I dropped her off in Moab a month later.
   I visited Sophie last May. She certainly looked like a granny dog with a white, grey, grizzly muzzle and she was hobbling around a bit but she had otherwise turned into a new dog. Sophie lived in Kirstin’s house with 2 cats. She obeyed off leash and got along with other dogs. Basically the hikes and exercise Sophie had by living near Canyonlands National Park had eradicated all her neurotic city behavior. On my visit while I sat reading a book in the sun on the back porch, Sophie sat on her dog bed, listening to the birds and the wind go through the cottonwoods, no fire engines, ambulances, buses or construction sounds like she heard every day when she lived in the city. Sophie did live up to her reputation as the ‘wonder dog” over New Year’s 2007, she got lost in the woods in Castle Valley an area about 15 miles from Moab when Sophie was being watched by a friend. Sophie survived for 3 days in the wilderness, with freezing weather and hungry coyotes to make it 5 miles in the right direction back to town before she was found. Sophie lived under a lucky dog star.
   Kirstin called me last week, usually we trade emails so I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. I called back and Kirstin told me that Sophie was not doing well. Since May, Sophie became incontinent. She fell down all the time and continued trying to break out of the house by jumping through screens. Sophie had not lost her willfulness but was going downhill fast. My immediate reaction was a picture of this grinning, willful, intelligent dog curled up on her most comfortable dog bed in my Chicago living room. I thought, ” No, you can’t put her to sleep, she is suppose to live forever.” I also realized Sophie had lived a peaceful, contented life these last 2 years, no operations, lots of dogs, lots of birds and lots of fresh air and love. Sophie had really connected with her inner wolf.
   I got an email from Kirstin today. She said that Sophie is now buried in the backyard underneath one of her favorite cottonwood trees and that her spirit will live on. I am sad but I know that backyard is a beautiful, peaceful, place that Sophie loved. I have not called my mother to let her know that Sophie has died. I need to. If I call and tell Mom that Sophie is dead who knows if she will remember? Sophie died with peacefulness and dignity. Who knows how long my mother will live, it could be years and years and how much farther she will deteriorate? If only humans lived under the same lucky star my dog Sophie did.

My sentiments are still the same, I wish humans could be treated as humanely when it comes to death the way we treat our beloved animals. My mother still has her memory, but her life consists of smoking cigarettes, watching TV and sleeping. She sees her grand daughter every now and then and my brother watches over her. We have not yet gotten to the point of putting her in a facility but we are close. She always said in her fits of anger that she wanted to die in the house, but how much longer can my brother wash and feed her? Time is ticking away but we are not quite there yet.

Pakistan Part 2 and musings

2008-08-02T14:37:00.000-05:00

Below is the link to my slide/movie on You Tube I made from the pictures of my Pakistan trip. There is a 3 second video in it, that I made by accident but it somehow captures the moment perfectly. You hear heavy breathing, then a sigh, then a plop and see my boots sitting out my front door. Every day when I arrived into camp the first thing I would do is get my boots off. Never, on any trek/climb that I have done have I ever had my feet hurt so much on a trip. That is why I titled the project, "It's All About the Feet", because I was trying to keep the weight of my trek bag down, all duffles were carried by the porters on their backs and most carried 2 duffles, I brought only one pair of boots. I think my bag porter, Reliait, carried 3 bags that in total were probably twice his weight. The porters on the trip were a constant reminder of work ethic and happiness on the job. Not to say that some of them weren't miserable at times, but for the most part being a porter was a very social job and they chit chatted with each other the entire time and worked really, really hard but seemed happy. That is why I called my "keeper"(I think he was assigned to make sure I did not kill myself) Mohammed Khan, the mayor of the Baltoral. He knew almost every porter that we ran into. But I brought my old leather hiking shoes that I had worn for many years and did not bring a soft pair of boots. I learned my lesson about making sure that your shoes are as comfortable as possible. I think I will now go for comfort over "the proper shoe" on my next trip, which I hope will be soon!!!! Mohammed Khan wore tennis shoes the entire time. I didn't get blisters because I knew to Vaseline my feet every day but the daily up and down over the rock and ice was a killer on my feet but mentally I am tough so I made it no matter how sore and achy my feet were.

The last 2 minutes of the project are pictures of me from other places I have been. I feel really lucky to have traveled as much as I have but it never is enough. After college I started on the money track not the "do what I love track" for a lot of reasons, mostly dysfunctional, which I won't go into, however, I was able to see a lot of places. But I think I was born with the explorer gene because there are too many interesting places to go and not enough time, my priority was always traveling and doing, not getting married(although my family issues had a little bit to do with the marriage thing too), no matter how many great men I met, or fell in love with...........Here is the 5 second, accidental, boot video,the sounds capture how I was feeling, the cold, the altitude, my fatigue, the gosh darn boots!!!!!

Here is the link on YouTube to the slides with music of my Pakistan trip and some of my other travels... Pakistan slideshow link

I did my multi-sport run today which includes, sprinting/jogging, a stop, cartwheels, handstands, and some sun salutations and other yoga stretches, 50 situps with legs and hands raised above the ground, a run back to my access off the Lakefront and a quick jump and 10 second swim in the lake. The latest running song I have been listening to is Afterglow from the album "Im on to You"by Ian Axel, I found it through Pandora. There was a period of time when I wrote a lot of poetry(pretty bad poetry, I primarily keep it to myself but in total about 40 poems that I consider all under the title of "Turbulence".) But at the end of most of the poems, I wrote, "I wish someone had the answer?" And in Afterglow, yes, I am staying on topic, he kind of answers my question which is why the song makes me happy. I go through phases of running to hard, intense songs to gooey, happy songs, this one borders on gooey but is not over the top. The song I listen to while I am doing my handstands and cartwheels is Dry the Rain by the Beta Band which is on the sound track of High Fidelity. The song crescendos in the end and they keep repeating "everything will be alright" which is what I need to hear right now!!!! After I finish a run I put on my mellower songs which lately I have been on a Donovan kick, Sunshine Superman and Mellow Yellow. Donovan is timeless I think and reminds me of my first trip to Aspen, there was the Mellow Yellow taxi service and he played Mellow Yellow in his cab.

I did not go to yoga, today, I was working on learning about video, which videos certainly take a long enough time to upload, and YouTube(yes, a slacker excuse) and I got up late, another slacker habit....and my project tonight is to braise some fennel using Alice Water's recipe. I did make her pancakes and they were great, she has you separate out the yolks from the eggs and whip the egg whites before incorporating them into the batter which makes for fluffier pancakes. My plan for tomorrow is to go for a 1 1/2 hour run before my monthly store meeting at 8:45am... The question is....Will my slacker habits come into play????????????????????? I really am trying to reform...really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao......

Pakistan

2008-07-26T13:25:00.001-05:00

A year ago today I was on my way down the Baltoro glacier from my trek up to K2 basecamp in Baltistan, Pakistan. The trip was a pivotal moment in my slacker life. I am about 35 lbs lighter now than last year and much fitter. I have written about it at In The Know Traveler. The original trip was to climb the Gondogoro Pass but I got eliminated at Concordia(the main camp and crossroads of the Baltoro valley)because the guide, Jonathan, told me I was suffering from altitude sickness, I had racoon eyes. But that was somewhat of an excuse because I have had racoon eyes(my eyelids swelled) before and then they go away, it is part of my acclimatization routine. He eliminated me because the group was too big to get over the pass and I was one of the slowest. In someways I was happy to get eliminated because there were a couple of personalities on the trip that were really annoying. One guy was a personality polluter, he just could never stop talking and was somewhat of an alpha male, bulldog type. There are great alpha males who are interesting and attractive and annoying ones. He was the latter. There was a woman with her husband who had just graduated from medical school and had the "I am the smartest person in the world" complex and everyone else is stupid. She was one of those people who always had to be right and have the last word, her husband was sweet and somewhat of a "lap husband". And of course, she and the BullDog got along great. I was pissed at myself half the time and discouraged, I had become "That Person", "The Slacker" of the group, I am used to being one of the fit ones, the one who makes it to the summit, I actually had a moment on the trail where I broke down in tears, I couldn't believe, I had become "That Person!" I had underestimated the fitness level needed for the trip but I am pretty mentally tough so I was slow but "not that slow" and I am not a complainer, and I was so happy to be surrounded by this absolutely gorgeous scenery that I kept up in my own way,(part of slackerdom, you have an affinity for stopping and smelling the roses, we are very good at that), I didn't stop that much and I left earlier in the morning so I did not ever "slow down" the group. I learned a long time ago, when golfing, the key thing is to keep up the pace and when trekking, go at your own pace if you have to leave early and come in late but never "slow down" the group. I had an epiphany at Concordia. I realized I could either go the route of doing less and less as I got older or I get myself in gear and get fitter and that it was totally possible to be very fit as I got older. And I realized there are a lot of people, particularly in the flatlands who say, I am too old, it is scary, it hurts too much, and there are people who say let's do it!!! I want to go down the path of doing rather than watching and making it work rather than coming up with reasons why it can't. I realized at Concordia that I had to focus from then on, on things that I really care about and not things that I felt I should do.

However, now, I am really sad that I don't have a trip planned to the mountains. A friend who is a guide, Ade Summers is in Kazakhstan right now and he was just in Bolivia and before that Nepal. There are too many places to see in this world and too many, non-touristy mountain ranges to trek and climb in and I have to somehow figure out how to make it work so I can go back and do and see them.

My top ten places I want to go:1) Simien Mountains, Ethiopia, 2)Rwenzori's ,The Mountains of the Moon and gorilla sighting, 3)Tien Shan, Kazakhstan, The Celestial Mountains, 4) volcanoes of Kamchatka, 5)ski to the North Pole, 6)Aconcagua(have heard it is a boring slog, but it would be nice to summit none the less, 7)see Angkor Wat in Cambodia, 8)go to Danny Paradise's yogaweek in thailand, 9)Trek in some of the less well known valleys in Nepal, 10)Finish the Comrades Ultra Marathon in South Africa and the go on safari to see the hippos in Kruger National Park...

I am still looking for able to live-on compensation rather than college student pay even though I still feel like I am working and am perfectly tired at the end of an 8 hour shift an outdoor goods retailer on Michigan Avenue. I like helping people with "outerwear issues" and I love the windows of the store on the 2nd floor but I am very overqualified for the job and it is at that point where I am getting restless and really want to have more responsibility, more pay and most of importantly be challenged more and feel that I am using my talents which at this moment I am being completely underutilized. During the summertime we don't get as many international customers, which for me is the best part of the job, it reminds me that there is a big world out there. So time for me to go on my run, of course I am going on the short run versus the long route, part of my slacker tendencies, but it is a beautiful day here, and I will bike to yoga later and I got to the Green City market and had my wheat grass this morning, so slacker life is good today and I am listening to Pandora(which is the greatest by the way) as I write this.......and I found out about a movement, Slow Bikes, which is all about seeing the world slowly on a bike, which is definitely me as I bike around Chicago. So for today, it is okay being a Slacker and Slow biker.... Ciao....

Beginnings

2008-07-19T11:04:00.001-05:00

Beginnings are fun, for me they always bring, hope, optimism, change. After getting a new MacBook about a year, being let go from my job, bond sales(I'm in a retail job at the moment,now), I have migrated to the blog world/zine world as my main source of information. Among my daily reads have been some Chicago blogs, AngryWhiteGuy, Meghan's Blaah, Hungry Magazine, some food blogs, Heidi Swanson at 101cookbooks, Michael Ruhlman, Egg Beater,among others, some ultra running blogs, Fast Foodie, Run More Talk Less,my spiritual and physical guides, Coach Steve Ilg and Joy Ananda Kilpatrick at Wholistic Fitness,(I subscribe to his blog, Direct Lines) Michelle at My InnerWorld, and of course the standard news, information blogs, Salon,(I am a Salon Premium member), New York Times, Boing Boing and Digg. I just like being aware of things, and of what's going on, maybe high yield bond sales was a good profession for me, because I like knowing a little about a lot of things. After all, there are so many interesting things to learn about out there, but yes, that is kind of "the slacker in me", because a good corporate citizen or professional knows a lot about a specific thing...I was one of those kids who always wanted to know everything, which managers of course don't necessarily like because the corporate world is ruled by control and by withholding information or making it privileged to the chosen few.

Now from the sounds of all the blogs I read, you probably think I spend hours on my computer a day, which goes back to the whole concept of this blog, my slackerness. I don't really spend hours a day but there is a lot of great information on the web. I am a foodie and love to read and stay in touch with the food blog world, because I would love to be an accomplished cook some day but my slacker tendencies slow me down in that arena. Are you getting the drift of my blog now? I would love to finish an ultra-marathon this year(I have run 7 marathons and jogged 8) and reading some of the ultra-marathoning blogs are really motivational to me, to realize that yes, there are people who are out there doing these things, it is not just a dream or vision. I live in the flatlands of Chicago, home to a great number of watchers and fans, not necessarily doers. Yes, THERE ARE DOERS in Chicago too, but, when you walk down the street or get on a plane going to Chicago, there is a distinct difference in the size of the people. If you had a plane load of people going to Portland, Oregon , home to the Hood to Coast race(I organized a team, The Wild Onions to participate 2 years in a row)and a plane load going to Chicago, you can tell which people are which. Chicago is home to the "ultimate sports fan", the sitter, the watcher, so blogs are great to show me people are putting their ideas into action.

In my old life of a bond salesman, I was forced to listen to TV all day and the talking heads of MSNBC and it is all chatter and blah, blah, blah. I looked at a bond job a little bit like surfing without the fun of the physicalness of it, I was constantly trying to keep up with the waves of information, the stock market was up, it was down, the Fed is coming out with a number, Bernanke said this or that. It wasn't information I necessarily was passionate about or highly interested in and I could go away on vacation for 10 days(another slacker tendency) and come back and it was the same thing all over again. So, I love the web because I have control over ferreting out the information that I want. However, in the bond and corporate world, surfing the web is a major slacker tendency. So I basically have all these slacker tendencies that I am trying to find a middle ground to. Having "slacker" tendencies is anti-American, anti-Corporate, frowned upon by society. Did I mention I am not a morning person, another slacker tendency. SO my thought with this blog is to document my attempts to mesh my slacker tendencies with my goals. I think there are people out there who have slacker tendencies as well and you know, it is hard being a slacker in a world of worker bees. Someone once said to me, it is hard being an introvert in an extroverted world. IT IS, and it is hard being a slacker in a Type A oriented world. But I really think there is a moderate ground I am just trying to find it. Time for me to bike the Green City Market here to get my dose of wheat grass and shopping in. Who knows, this could be my first, last and only post, but this blogging thing is a whole new world!!!!!! Ciao....